Since Chita arrived in December I have been wondering how we could buy a house. We have no money, but there must be a way. How can I take advantage of the First Home Owners Grant? It kept bubbling beneath the surface of my thoughts and after we organised the Spouse visa interview, only to find we had to pay a bridging fee of $600 instead of $2,400 things started looking up.
A couple of months ago I was in my office doing a quick flick through real estate and saw a house that could do. I had figured out that we didn't have much to spend in Hobart and I wanted to try and find a renovator's delight which wasn't awful around $240,000.
We had started spending weekends looking at houses in Mornington, Moonah, Warrane, Glenorchy and Seven Mile Beach - a pipe dream as Chita has a learner's licence but needs 50 hours before he can get his P plates..... what to do.
I submitted an email to have a look at the property and got a reply on Wednesday - what time? I drove up Barossa Road, looking for the number, and discovered an acqua blue weatherboard - beach shackesque and thought, this doesn't feel like the city. It borders on a reserve - Chita can run up the fire trails. It has a semi rural aspect in the next block of houses - its only ten minutes from North Hobart - this could be it. Offers over $230,000. Okay.
I went for a walk through the house - the three bedrooms are a good size, the living area is L shaped with floor boards and there was plenty of backyard for my boy - who is itching to set up a veggie garden.
I came home raving about it, and convinced Chita to go and have a look with his mate Sam. Yep, they liked it too. Then fate played its hand. The tenants were expecting a baby and a building clause had been put in place that no one could visit the property once the baby was born. The baby arrived, and we were the only offer on the house. The real estate agent convinced the owner to sell. I upped the offer to what she wanted and the house was ours.
Getting the bank loan proved to be one of the biggest challenges of my life. I applied to one finance broker who kept me waiting three weeks and I finally realised that he was a bullshit artist and hadn't done anything on our behalf. I changed brokers and got approval in two days. Going to the banks was a nightmare as I did not have three months of salary savings - 4 years of constantly flying back to Fiji and saving for it, as well as supporting a business counted for nothing. I had to find a Building Society which would lend us the dough. We went for My State as they were based in Hobart but B & E were another option we didn't take up, as they are in Launceston and we didn't have enough time. Luckily I have a permanent position with the Department of Education which helped. Waiting for the finance was the worst bit. You feel as if you are not worthy. They keep ringing and asking for more documentation but in the end we got it...
My sister had a look on the internet and called it the Blue Moo, so that's our house for now.
Pikcing up the keys to the house a couple of weeks a go was also a bit of an anxious moment as the solicitors had settled at 12 but the papework had not been handed over to the real estate agent- there was a ten minute wait to see if they were going to give me the keys or not. They did.
Walking through the house that first evening, I realised all the things I had not paid attention to - the dilapidated paint work, the curtains, the fluorescent lights, but none of it mattered. The house is ours.
We spent a weekend painting and then moved in last weekend. A fresh coat of paint has made all the difference. However there are a few touchups to be done, and paint splats on floors to scrape off, but it feels clean.
There had been five cats in the bedroom but I slept like an angel.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Yippee!
I am back at last. I have been working on intercultural and interpersonal relationships between a Fijian and an Australian for the last three months. Its been a busy time for us, with a wonderful summer, me getting back into the swing of work and Chita trying to get work.
He started out well with two days a week at a gourmet butchery here in Hobart. He learnt how to use a computerised slicer and package the best bacon in Tassie for customers all over Australia. However with the economic downturn they no longer needed a casual.
I drove past a Turkish restaurant one Sunday night and he successfully applied for some waitering work and now serves Turkish food to eager customers. He had three shifts a week but that has dropped to one and now we are busy finding courses in care either aged care or students with disabilities for Chita to pursue.
Money has always been tight for us, so nothing has changed there. We are both catering for a private party on Saturday night. Chita is in charge of lugging stuff and setting up and I am cooking and serving food while he manages the bar. What a team!
We have come to an agreement that I cannot presume he knows what to do in all situations so I can tell him or show him what to do. That works in theory but telling a male what to do is rarely successful. I have to find a lighthearted and cheey voice to get my point across as my serious voice offends.
Some funny moments have been:
Me trying to keep the petrol cap open so we can get petrol into our car only to find he has taken hold of the wrong pump and I was trying to put diesel in - luckily it all dripped down the side of the car.
We were housesitting my brother's house and I came back from work to find the cat growling and howling. I looked in Spike's food bowl and found it filled on one side with kitty litter and the other side with dog food. He had read the note saying there is kitty litter under the sink and please fill the container. He just got the wrong container.
I am working full time, so when I come home he is there all happy and smiley waiting for me, and I am ready to space out for twenty minutes and recoup my happy smiley self. I give him a kiss and a hug first and then regroup and we cook dinner together.
We are a team in the house - I cook and he washes up which is great.
We have met the Fijian community in Hobart and he is number seven male. We have been invited over by all members and two of them Pita and Sam have become great mates with Chita and keep him busy. Pita has a tea with him every morning before work,and he usually drops in for a chat in the afternoon before heading home. Sam picks Chita up and they go and weed his vegetable garden, go for a drive, or go op shopping. Chita came home with a $3 bag of goodies last week including a fab jacket that just happened to be made in Fiji, jeans and great shirts. The boys were very pleased with themselves.
Last Sunday we took a long drive out into the country to a friend of our's rural retreat- a cottage at Deddington. The day was grey and gloomy with some rain, but once we hit the gravel and dirt road, the sun peeked through. We were welcomed by Suzanne with a wave from outside the front garden. We drove down the long drive and parked under an enormous tree. The day was idyllic. We helped set the table up on two picnic tables out in the nextdoor field. We had cows grazing in front of us, and Ramsay the ram loitering and sniffing us nearby. We sat down to marinated quail with a red wine fig and olive sauce, followed by a pear and treacle upside down cake which was delicious. Chita disappeared to sleep on the nearby river bank with the cows munching and crunching in his ear. The rest of us found places to crash for a siesta. I had my feet massaged by Chris and then I fell on some cushions and rugs to drink coffee and eat chocolate macadamia nuts with the rest of the guests.
Around 4.30 those with energy disappeared to collect wild mushrooms and Chita emerged with a big smile and two fistfuls of mushrooms which were cooked in butter and garlic, and placed on toasted sour dough as a bruschetta before the long drive home.
I love the peace and quiet here....... he says and I did too.
He started out well with two days a week at a gourmet butchery here in Hobart. He learnt how to use a computerised slicer and package the best bacon in Tassie for customers all over Australia. However with the economic downturn they no longer needed a casual.
I drove past a Turkish restaurant one Sunday night and he successfully applied for some waitering work and now serves Turkish food to eager customers. He had three shifts a week but that has dropped to one and now we are busy finding courses in care either aged care or students with disabilities for Chita to pursue.
Money has always been tight for us, so nothing has changed there. We are both catering for a private party on Saturday night. Chita is in charge of lugging stuff and setting up and I am cooking and serving food while he manages the bar. What a team!
We have come to an agreement that I cannot presume he knows what to do in all situations so I can tell him or show him what to do. That works in theory but telling a male what to do is rarely successful. I have to find a lighthearted and cheey voice to get my point across as my serious voice offends.
Some funny moments have been:
Me trying to keep the petrol cap open so we can get petrol into our car only to find he has taken hold of the wrong pump and I was trying to put diesel in - luckily it all dripped down the side of the car.
We were housesitting my brother's house and I came back from work to find the cat growling and howling. I looked in Spike's food bowl and found it filled on one side with kitty litter and the other side with dog food. He had read the note saying there is kitty litter under the sink and please fill the container. He just got the wrong container.
I am working full time, so when I come home he is there all happy and smiley waiting for me, and I am ready to space out for twenty minutes and recoup my happy smiley self. I give him a kiss and a hug first and then regroup and we cook dinner together.
We are a team in the house - I cook and he washes up which is great.
We have met the Fijian community in Hobart and he is number seven male. We have been invited over by all members and two of them Pita and Sam have become great mates with Chita and keep him busy. Pita has a tea with him every morning before work,and he usually drops in for a chat in the afternoon before heading home. Sam picks Chita up and they go and weed his vegetable garden, go for a drive, or go op shopping. Chita came home with a $3 bag of goodies last week including a fab jacket that just happened to be made in Fiji, jeans and great shirts. The boys were very pleased with themselves.
Last Sunday we took a long drive out into the country to a friend of our's rural retreat- a cottage at Deddington. The day was grey and gloomy with some rain, but once we hit the gravel and dirt road, the sun peeked through. We were welcomed by Suzanne with a wave from outside the front garden. We drove down the long drive and parked under an enormous tree. The day was idyllic. We helped set the table up on two picnic tables out in the nextdoor field. We had cows grazing in front of us, and Ramsay the ram loitering and sniffing us nearby. We sat down to marinated quail with a red wine fig and olive sauce, followed by a pear and treacle upside down cake which was delicious. Chita disappeared to sleep on the nearby river bank with the cows munching and crunching in his ear. The rest of us found places to crash for a siesta. I had my feet massaged by Chris and then I fell on some cushions and rugs to drink coffee and eat chocolate macadamia nuts with the rest of the guests.
Around 4.30 those with energy disappeared to collect wild mushrooms and Chita emerged with a big smile and two fistfuls of mushrooms which were cooked in butter and garlic, and placed on toasted sour dough as a bruschetta before the long drive home.
I love the peace and quiet here....... he says and I did too.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
Our journey!
Over the last few days I have had a chance to think about what I am doing. I am an unpublished writer. I have a stockpile of manuscripts in my cupboard. I intend to write a novel about an intercultural Fijian relationship soon. I started writing this blog because I was desperate to understand Fijian culture, its traditions and customs and there is nothing out there.I thought that by sharing my experiences I could assist others in the same situation. I have had plenty of confirmation from friends met through this blogsite that I have helped.
I have lived in Italy and for twenty years I have immersed myself in the lifestyle and learnt the language. When I am in Italy now I blend into Italian life.
Fiji is different. I am a kavalagi. I am different. Fijian culture is still a mystery to me. I tried to learn the language but had difficulty finding someone who with the time to spend on conversation. I only learnt about tradition when I had made a mistake. It has been frustrating. My relationship with my husband has succeeded only because we have created a level of communication which bridges two cultures. He has to compromise and so do I. We treat each other as equals and respect each other.
I am so proud of him. He is adjusting to Australian daily life and makes inciteful comments frequently to the differences. Every country has good and bad and plenty of social problems. It is my view. I will not be compromised. I live in a democracy with freedom of Speech. I am sad to see the comments by Fijians and am sad to see that not one of them had the guts to leave their name. That is a side of Fijian culture I don't like.
Thank your for your support and positive comments all my kavalagi friends out there. This blog site is written for you. In Fijian culture people are quiet and in the village situation I have heard Chita say often - I can't say much'. That is not the Australian way- when we have an issue of problem we talk about it. We don't have to wait for a village meeting to speak our opinions out loud. I have never meant to offend - I have tried to use humour instead.
I have nothing to hide except a strong and deep love for my husband. I have spent four years supporting him, his family and his clan. We opened a village business which I am proud of. It has been a struggle to get him to Australia. It has taken a personal toll upon me. I have had to prepare all the paperwork, change jobs so I could support his application and apply for visitor's visa. I had to cut back my living expenses to nothing so I could afford to go back to Fiji and see him every three months. Last year I got seriously ill from the stress of it all but we did it!! I made a commitment to my husband that I would be there for him always. He and I are very happy.
Arriving at Melbourne airport at 11 pm in a near empty airport all I can remember is his smile. We walked around Melbourne city the next day and his comment to me was ' I am in the land of the kavalagi'. I looked through his eyes and instead of seeing Australians on holiday, he is now seeing Australians participating in daily life. Our flight back to Tas was delayed for 8 hours and the two of us were tired, bored and desperate to get on a plane - His comment cracked me up - If I spend much more time here I will turn white.
He has got a job already working two days a week for a gourmet butcher. His first pay was the equivalent of three weeks work in Fiji. He is very grateful. I am about to take him on a walkabout tomorrow to find more casual work - probably in Hospitality. We are no longer a separate entity - we are 'Us' and we are heading towards a future as a couple. Laughter is going to be the way forward. He still has issues with pyjamas - an ozzie concept but I have agreed that he is making so many adjustments on a daily basis that we will take change one day at a time.
However, I have the responsibility of this man. We still have to apply for a spouse visa and meet all the conditions. I have been a single and independent woman who has travelled the world and loves OTHER CULTURES. I have to adjust to someone else being in my appartment and my life. So far it has been fun.
Chita's cousin Joe in Sydney remarked that he loved the burgers in Australia. Chita has already told me - I know why Fijians stay in Australia, there is so much food to choose from. Watching Chita enjoy day trips driving around Tassie, eating new foods - creme de menthe meringues and apple and rhubarb crumble are off his list, playing touch footy on Sunday and getting to meet a few people, hanging out with my brother, being welcomed into my family, and us spending time together. He has been here over a month and last year I only spent a week in January in Cyclone Gene, a week in June, an week in September. Our journey has begun!
I have lived in Italy and for twenty years I have immersed myself in the lifestyle and learnt the language. When I am in Italy now I blend into Italian life.
Fiji is different. I am a kavalagi. I am different. Fijian culture is still a mystery to me. I tried to learn the language but had difficulty finding someone who with the time to spend on conversation. I only learnt about tradition when I had made a mistake. It has been frustrating. My relationship with my husband has succeeded only because we have created a level of communication which bridges two cultures. He has to compromise and so do I. We treat each other as equals and respect each other.
I am so proud of him. He is adjusting to Australian daily life and makes inciteful comments frequently to the differences. Every country has good and bad and plenty of social problems. It is my view. I will not be compromised. I live in a democracy with freedom of Speech. I am sad to see the comments by Fijians and am sad to see that not one of them had the guts to leave their name. That is a side of Fijian culture I don't like.
Thank your for your support and positive comments all my kavalagi friends out there. This blog site is written for you. In Fijian culture people are quiet and in the village situation I have heard Chita say often - I can't say much'. That is not the Australian way- when we have an issue of problem we talk about it. We don't have to wait for a village meeting to speak our opinions out loud. I have never meant to offend - I have tried to use humour instead.
I have nothing to hide except a strong and deep love for my husband. I have spent four years supporting him, his family and his clan. We opened a village business which I am proud of. It has been a struggle to get him to Australia. It has taken a personal toll upon me. I have had to prepare all the paperwork, change jobs so I could support his application and apply for visitor's visa. I had to cut back my living expenses to nothing so I could afford to go back to Fiji and see him every three months. Last year I got seriously ill from the stress of it all but we did it!! I made a commitment to my husband that I would be there for him always. He and I are very happy.
Arriving at Melbourne airport at 11 pm in a near empty airport all I can remember is his smile. We walked around Melbourne city the next day and his comment to me was ' I am in the land of the kavalagi'. I looked through his eyes and instead of seeing Australians on holiday, he is now seeing Australians participating in daily life. Our flight back to Tas was delayed for 8 hours and the two of us were tired, bored and desperate to get on a plane - His comment cracked me up - If I spend much more time here I will turn white.
He has got a job already working two days a week for a gourmet butcher. His first pay was the equivalent of three weeks work in Fiji. He is very grateful. I am about to take him on a walkabout tomorrow to find more casual work - probably in Hospitality. We are no longer a separate entity - we are 'Us' and we are heading towards a future as a couple. Laughter is going to be the way forward. He still has issues with pyjamas - an ozzie concept but I have agreed that he is making so many adjustments on a daily basis that we will take change one day at a time.
However, I have the responsibility of this man. We still have to apply for a spouse visa and meet all the conditions. I have been a single and independent woman who has travelled the world and loves OTHER CULTURES. I have to adjust to someone else being in my appartment and my life. So far it has been fun.
Chita's cousin Joe in Sydney remarked that he loved the burgers in Australia. Chita has already told me - I know why Fijians stay in Australia, there is so much food to choose from. Watching Chita enjoy day trips driving around Tassie, eating new foods - creme de menthe meringues and apple and rhubarb crumble are off his list, playing touch footy on Sunday and getting to meet a few people, hanging out with my brother, being welcomed into my family, and us spending time together. He has been here over a month and last year I only spent a week in January in Cyclone Gene, a week in June, an week in September. Our journey has begun!
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Fiji is always close!
Having Chita here in Australia has been great. He is adjusting to a new way of life, but retaining his dignity as a Fijian living in Australia. He and I both love Fiji and would love to be building up a business in Fiji, assisting the village community of Votua and providing education and training to young Fijians from his clan.
Unfortunately, at the moment that is not possible. We have two good friends running the business for us, and we know we can always go back and visit. We are also organising a way to support his mum from Oz.
I have had a recent comment from a Fijian male, saying that I am being disrespectful to Chita's family and his culture. That is something I would never do. I started this blog to build bridges so that other Australian girls who find themselves in the same circumstances will need patience and persistance in an intercultural relationship. I respect his family and his clan. I have never talked about them. Living with two cultures requires flexibility, patience, mutual tolerance and respect. Chita and I have begun that journey.
Unfortunately, at the moment that is not possible. We have two good friends running the business for us, and we know we can always go back and visit. We are also organising a way to support his mum from Oz.
I have had a recent comment from a Fijian male, saying that I am being disrespectful to Chita's family and his culture. That is something I would never do. I started this blog to build bridges so that other Australian girls who find themselves in the same circumstances will need patience and persistance in an intercultural relationship. I respect his family and his clan. I have never talked about them. Living with two cultures requires flexibility, patience, mutual tolerance and respect. Chita and I have begun that journey.
Monday, January 12, 2009
We're Married!
The last three weeks have been a blur of new experiences for Chita and lots of eating and drinking and meeting all my friends and family. Luckily Chita is an experienced meeter and greeter from his days at the Naviti and has a large family, so he has coped very well.
I flew to Melbourne on Friday December 19th to pick him up. I was wondering how he would cope with the transfer in Sydney from the international airport to the domestic airport to pick up his Melbourne flight but in true Fijian style, he was sitting on the plane next to someone he knew who lived in Sydney and helped him out. He did tell me he wasn't watching the time so he had to RUSH to get to the airport lounge. Jen, a friend of mine and I drove out to the airport to pick him up at 9.30 and of course Jetstar was not running on time, so he arrived around 11 pm. We had to walk out to practically the last gate lounge and wait in a near empty airport. As people streamed off the plane my eyes were glued- looking for a tall Fijian with a back pack and all of a sudden he appeared with a big smile, and even gave me a hug at the airport- a first. We drove off to Lygon Street and introduced him to eating out at midnight- a pizza on the street with heat lamps above.
We looked at each other and I had to keep saying to myself - he really is here.... somewhere in my brain, disbelief was holding strong. The next day we took him to the Crown casino and walked for hours. His comment to me was - I am in the land of the kavalagi - and he was right not a Fijian or a palm tree in sight. We took him down Flinders lane and showed him the tiny hole in the wall cafes and ended up eating Vietnamese on Swanston street.
Sunday I lazed in bed while he decided to clean up Jen's garden. He used the Fijian approach of hack away and it should all grow again thick and fast but temperate climates are not quite like that. It looked tidy to me but he apparently hacked a palm tree and Jen was a bit miffed. She said' I don't know what he used to cut that down. I do, but that's another story.
We decided to catch the tram into the city to Spencer Street.I wanted to buy big foot a pair of cheap casual shoes so we ran around the DFO outlet and found a pair. We took the bus to the airport and arrived at 12.31 and stood in line for five minutes and then I realised we would miss our flight. I asked a ground hostess for help and she directed us to a booking desk but then reappeared a minute later and said 'I am sorry you have missed the flight'. I went to the service desk and had to pay two late fees for a 4.30 pm flight which was delayed to 8 pm. I could not believe it. Chita and I had lunch then we wandered the airport, and he had Nandos for dinner. He turned to me and said - If I spend much more time in this airport I am going to turn white. I laughed.
We arrived back in Hobart and I picked up my car from valet parking and drove him home to our flat in the dark. He had no idea where he was going and what was around him.
After months of living at his mothers, or friends, he walked into our tiny flat and said ' I love it!'. I cranked up the heater to tropical in our bedroom and we slept.
How to handle a Fijian who has resisted marriage - he told his mum he would never marry- and had no idea of the wedding preparations involved. One day at a time and one step at a time. We had to go to Launceston for Christmas and then had a week to get the final details for the wedding sorted. I broached discussion but he kept saying ' give me one more day before we talk about it' . Then time started running out.
We had to visit the marriage celebrant Christine to discuss the wedding ceremony and verify our existence with passports and birth certificates. I am usually super organised but I knew I was stressing when I forgot to ask him to bring his passport and birth certificate. We also arrived late as Chita decided to have a shower, a beer with my landlord and then I had to prod and poke him into the car. A coffee calmed me down and Christine gave us the lowdown. I would like the wedding ceremony before Christmas if possible. I said 'yes' but forgot that we had people to see and things to do. Christmas day came and went and I received a phone call from Christine demanding the wedding ceremony by 9.30 Christmas night. Bloody hell. Things became complicated as mum and dad's computer was not connected and I had to use a friend's Mac. I cut the ceremony back to very simple and asked Chita what he wanted to say - I do. Easy. Then I tried to email it. It would not work. Boxing day morning and I am hoping for an internet connection. I rang my sisters Polly and Georgy for help but they were not sure why it wasn't working. Polly said she would ring me back after her breakfast only to tell me that she could not help, did not have a car to come round and at that point I was freaking out and thought- Why the bloody hell did you ring me back just to tell me you could not help? I eventually got the wedding ceremony attached and sent. I really did not have time to review so I hope I got it right.
Back to Christmas.... We drove to Lonny to stay at a friend's house. We walked into mum and dad's house and my sister Emma's response was. Mandy he is so handsome. You have given all the single girl's out there - hope.... He was out of earshot and did not hear a thing.
My doubting family who have been secretly thinking that I have been spending all my time and energy on someone who is just using me, were wreathed in smiles and he was polite, well mannered and very attentive with my armchair bound father. He had his first European Christmas - turkey and ham and the strange black pudding which we all love - Christmas pudding. In bed that night, his stomach was experiencing orchestral manouvres in the dark. I was laughing my head off - saying' you have gone from a fish and rice diet to lots of protein and carbs - take it easy!
Boxing day was a picnic in the park and we were meeting friends at Punchbowl reserve. I had bought an inflatable santa suit for my brother to wear. Mum had said -' do you think Chita would wear it?' I replied - a black santa might be a bit much fo4 everybody'. Chita went to the toilets to help my brother Sean put it on. He waddled out with a box of chocolates, I cracked up laughing and kids appeared from everywhere to touch Santa.... 'Very Australian' was Chita's reply.
So now for the wedding. My sister in law texted me on December 27th saying - Prouds is having a %40 discount so we rushed down and tried on silver wedding rings. Cheap and cheerful for us.... my wedding ring was mistaken for white gold, and I said nothing. Then a phone call to a friend for a bunch of flowers, and another friend for the wedding cake. Chita and I went shopping and bought food for the wedding party - I made teriyaki beef skewers, Thai chicken skewers, lemon and oregano squid, and sausage rolls for the kids... Mum and Emma helped with the skewers- a time consuming job. The wedding dress was borrowed from my sister Emma who had bought a fab frock for Derby day. I conveniently had a pair of cream shoes to match.
I asked Emma on Boxing Day if I needed to dry clean the dress and her reply - You should, as I actually slept in it the last time I wore it....
Mary, a very close friend had lent me a gold tiara, a garter and rollers for my homespun hairdo so I was set.
On New Year's Eve my brothers took Chita off my hands. He went with them down to the dog beach to collect stones for a lovo on the cleared back block behind the house. He and Danny then bought enough meat to feed a Fijian village and there were only 30 guests.
Meanwhile I was still in my pyjamas having a coffee and chat to Jen, who decided to get me organised. She rang every beauty salon in Hobart to see if I could get a spray tan. Yes at 11.30- so we zoomed into town, she dropped me off, and I went into the salon in a pair of old tracky daks and a zip up jacket. Jen had told me that I would just walk into a booth and the jets would automatically tan me. No - I was stark naked and the salon assistant sprayed it on me by hand. I had no time for modesty and it was all over in five minutes anyway. However, I could not wash for two hours. Jen's retort - well Chita has kept you waiting sometimes for up to six hours, if you keep him waiting half an hour, that's what's gonna happen.
We decided to go and have a coffee at Jackman and Ross bakery in Battery Point - I was in a no reaction zone, and not stressed at all. I had a coffee and brioche and then we dropped into Tess's house to check up on the cake and her whole family - took one look saying 'Mandy you are getting married in an hour". I was still relaxed. I then decided to ring to check up on the flowers as they had not been dropped off. Gwenyth replied saying ' I hope tomorrow is better weather than today' I gently stressed' Yes, but I am getting married today at 2 pm and not tomorrow'. Gwenyth sprinted off to her mother in law to ask for a quick posy and a lovely bunch of sweet peas and roses appeared.
Now for the hair do. I never wear my hair up. It usually looks terrible as my face is so round. I never wear much make up either. I started putting in rollers and Jen helped. Her brother is a hair dresser so she had a few clues. I had asked my hairdresser in Lonny what to do. Spray each strand with hairspray, roll up and spray some more. Then spray your whole head before you take out the rollers, and repeat when all rollers are removed. Arrange the curls and spray some more. I put on some make up, Jen arranged my hair into curls behind the gold tiara. I slipped on the dress and shoes and felt fabulous. Photos will accompany when I can extricate them from family members.
We headed for Jen's Saab convertible and headed for West Hobart to my brother Daniel and his wife Linda's house. At the bottom of the hill we took the roof off and drove up the roller coaster steep drive way to the house. Everyone came out on the balcony to greet us and I heard Polly saying ' Whose car is that?'.
Everyone gasped and jaws dropped as I emerged from the car in my wedding glory. I know I scrub up well, but it was great to surprise my family like that. I walked inside and upstairs to wait, while Jen rushed in with the wedding song, and the ring cushion for my nephew Joshie.
Sacha Dane my three year old nephew appeared and came upstairs to hold my hand. A few of my nieces and nephews appeared and walked me into the living room which had been cleared and everyone was waiting. I thought I would be really stressed but I wasn't. I was extremely calm. Chita was standing there in a black shirt and blue sulu with a big smile. We stood in front of the marriage celebrant and my chucked together ceremony began.
When my sister Emma read out this poem there was not a dry eye in the house. Even Chita was sniffling and had tears running down his cheeks.
Today by Betrand Russell
Today I marry my friend,
The one I have laughed and cried with
The one I have learned from and shared with
The one I have chosen to support, encourage and give myself to
Through all the days given us to share.
Today I marry the one I love.
We played 'Seasons of Love' from Rent which talks about what happens in the year of a life with friends....
My brother spoke well.. talking about our persistence and patience over the last four years and talked about Chita's commitment to his village and how he has helped with so many community projects...
The rest of the day was a blur - champagne appeared, one of my sister's Trina cooked some of the food I had prepared, Chita took off his sulu, and tied it around his head while preparing the lovo - he had shorts on underneath of course. The kids all surrounded him to help, so he made spears out of wood for them all - a few eyebrows were raised....
The cake was a confection of chocolate mousse, meringue, dark chocolate torte and cream encased in white chocolate fondant in folds - a three tier extravaganza with frosted blueberries and raspberries. I had never seen anything like it. Perfect.
We had lovo for dinner cooked by my brothers, Chita and the kids.... a bit of karaoke, and then we watched the fireworks over the harbour for New Year's eve.
Around 10 pm we drove home to our little flat.
Amanda, can you please make me a toasted sandwich, I did not eat very much today.
He was busy serving everyone else and making sure everyone else was comfortable.
I walked into the bedroom carrying a hot toasted sandwich and Chita was in bed, curled up fast asleep.
I flew to Melbourne on Friday December 19th to pick him up. I was wondering how he would cope with the transfer in Sydney from the international airport to the domestic airport to pick up his Melbourne flight but in true Fijian style, he was sitting on the plane next to someone he knew who lived in Sydney and helped him out. He did tell me he wasn't watching the time so he had to RUSH to get to the airport lounge. Jen, a friend of mine and I drove out to the airport to pick him up at 9.30 and of course Jetstar was not running on time, so he arrived around 11 pm. We had to walk out to practically the last gate lounge and wait in a near empty airport. As people streamed off the plane my eyes were glued- looking for a tall Fijian with a back pack and all of a sudden he appeared with a big smile, and even gave me a hug at the airport- a first. We drove off to Lygon Street and introduced him to eating out at midnight- a pizza on the street with heat lamps above.
We looked at each other and I had to keep saying to myself - he really is here.... somewhere in my brain, disbelief was holding strong. The next day we took him to the Crown casino and walked for hours. His comment to me was - I am in the land of the kavalagi - and he was right not a Fijian or a palm tree in sight. We took him down Flinders lane and showed him the tiny hole in the wall cafes and ended up eating Vietnamese on Swanston street.
Sunday I lazed in bed while he decided to clean up Jen's garden. He used the Fijian approach of hack away and it should all grow again thick and fast but temperate climates are not quite like that. It looked tidy to me but he apparently hacked a palm tree and Jen was a bit miffed. She said' I don't know what he used to cut that down. I do, but that's another story.
We decided to catch the tram into the city to Spencer Street.I wanted to buy big foot a pair of cheap casual shoes so we ran around the DFO outlet and found a pair. We took the bus to the airport and arrived at 12.31 and stood in line for five minutes and then I realised we would miss our flight. I asked a ground hostess for help and she directed us to a booking desk but then reappeared a minute later and said 'I am sorry you have missed the flight'. I went to the service desk and had to pay two late fees for a 4.30 pm flight which was delayed to 8 pm. I could not believe it. Chita and I had lunch then we wandered the airport, and he had Nandos for dinner. He turned to me and said - If I spend much more time in this airport I am going to turn white. I laughed.
We arrived back in Hobart and I picked up my car from valet parking and drove him home to our flat in the dark. He had no idea where he was going and what was around him.
After months of living at his mothers, or friends, he walked into our tiny flat and said ' I love it!'. I cranked up the heater to tropical in our bedroom and we slept.
How to handle a Fijian who has resisted marriage - he told his mum he would never marry- and had no idea of the wedding preparations involved. One day at a time and one step at a time. We had to go to Launceston for Christmas and then had a week to get the final details for the wedding sorted. I broached discussion but he kept saying ' give me one more day before we talk about it' . Then time started running out.
We had to visit the marriage celebrant Christine to discuss the wedding ceremony and verify our existence with passports and birth certificates. I am usually super organised but I knew I was stressing when I forgot to ask him to bring his passport and birth certificate. We also arrived late as Chita decided to have a shower, a beer with my landlord and then I had to prod and poke him into the car. A coffee calmed me down and Christine gave us the lowdown. I would like the wedding ceremony before Christmas if possible. I said 'yes' but forgot that we had people to see and things to do. Christmas day came and went and I received a phone call from Christine demanding the wedding ceremony by 9.30 Christmas night. Bloody hell. Things became complicated as mum and dad's computer was not connected and I had to use a friend's Mac. I cut the ceremony back to very simple and asked Chita what he wanted to say - I do. Easy. Then I tried to email it. It would not work. Boxing day morning and I am hoping for an internet connection. I rang my sisters Polly and Georgy for help but they were not sure why it wasn't working. Polly said she would ring me back after her breakfast only to tell me that she could not help, did not have a car to come round and at that point I was freaking out and thought- Why the bloody hell did you ring me back just to tell me you could not help? I eventually got the wedding ceremony attached and sent. I really did not have time to review so I hope I got it right.
Back to Christmas.... We drove to Lonny to stay at a friend's house. We walked into mum and dad's house and my sister Emma's response was. Mandy he is so handsome. You have given all the single girl's out there - hope.... He was out of earshot and did not hear a thing.
My doubting family who have been secretly thinking that I have been spending all my time and energy on someone who is just using me, were wreathed in smiles and he was polite, well mannered and very attentive with my armchair bound father. He had his first European Christmas - turkey and ham and the strange black pudding which we all love - Christmas pudding. In bed that night, his stomach was experiencing orchestral manouvres in the dark. I was laughing my head off - saying' you have gone from a fish and rice diet to lots of protein and carbs - take it easy!
Boxing day was a picnic in the park and we were meeting friends at Punchbowl reserve. I had bought an inflatable santa suit for my brother to wear. Mum had said -' do you think Chita would wear it?' I replied - a black santa might be a bit much fo4 everybody'. Chita went to the toilets to help my brother Sean put it on. He waddled out with a box of chocolates, I cracked up laughing and kids appeared from everywhere to touch Santa.... 'Very Australian' was Chita's reply.
So now for the wedding. My sister in law texted me on December 27th saying - Prouds is having a %40 discount so we rushed down and tried on silver wedding rings. Cheap and cheerful for us.... my wedding ring was mistaken for white gold, and I said nothing. Then a phone call to a friend for a bunch of flowers, and another friend for the wedding cake. Chita and I went shopping and bought food for the wedding party - I made teriyaki beef skewers, Thai chicken skewers, lemon and oregano squid, and sausage rolls for the kids... Mum and Emma helped with the skewers- a time consuming job. The wedding dress was borrowed from my sister Emma who had bought a fab frock for Derby day. I conveniently had a pair of cream shoes to match.
I asked Emma on Boxing Day if I needed to dry clean the dress and her reply - You should, as I actually slept in it the last time I wore it....
Mary, a very close friend had lent me a gold tiara, a garter and rollers for my homespun hairdo so I was set.
On New Year's Eve my brothers took Chita off my hands. He went with them down to the dog beach to collect stones for a lovo on the cleared back block behind the house. He and Danny then bought enough meat to feed a Fijian village and there were only 30 guests.
Meanwhile I was still in my pyjamas having a coffee and chat to Jen, who decided to get me organised. She rang every beauty salon in Hobart to see if I could get a spray tan. Yes at 11.30- so we zoomed into town, she dropped me off, and I went into the salon in a pair of old tracky daks and a zip up jacket. Jen had told me that I would just walk into a booth and the jets would automatically tan me. No - I was stark naked and the salon assistant sprayed it on me by hand. I had no time for modesty and it was all over in five minutes anyway. However, I could not wash for two hours. Jen's retort - well Chita has kept you waiting sometimes for up to six hours, if you keep him waiting half an hour, that's what's gonna happen.
We decided to go and have a coffee at Jackman and Ross bakery in Battery Point - I was in a no reaction zone, and not stressed at all. I had a coffee and brioche and then we dropped into Tess's house to check up on the cake and her whole family - took one look saying 'Mandy you are getting married in an hour". I was still relaxed. I then decided to ring to check up on the flowers as they had not been dropped off. Gwenyth replied saying ' I hope tomorrow is better weather than today' I gently stressed' Yes, but I am getting married today at 2 pm and not tomorrow'. Gwenyth sprinted off to her mother in law to ask for a quick posy and a lovely bunch of sweet peas and roses appeared.
Now for the hair do. I never wear my hair up. It usually looks terrible as my face is so round. I never wear much make up either. I started putting in rollers and Jen helped. Her brother is a hair dresser so she had a few clues. I had asked my hairdresser in Lonny what to do. Spray each strand with hairspray, roll up and spray some more. Then spray your whole head before you take out the rollers, and repeat when all rollers are removed. Arrange the curls and spray some more. I put on some make up, Jen arranged my hair into curls behind the gold tiara. I slipped on the dress and shoes and felt fabulous. Photos will accompany when I can extricate them from family members.
We headed for Jen's Saab convertible and headed for West Hobart to my brother Daniel and his wife Linda's house. At the bottom of the hill we took the roof off and drove up the roller coaster steep drive way to the house. Everyone came out on the balcony to greet us and I heard Polly saying ' Whose car is that?'.
Everyone gasped and jaws dropped as I emerged from the car in my wedding glory. I know I scrub up well, but it was great to surprise my family like that. I walked inside and upstairs to wait, while Jen rushed in with the wedding song, and the ring cushion for my nephew Joshie.
Sacha Dane my three year old nephew appeared and came upstairs to hold my hand. A few of my nieces and nephews appeared and walked me into the living room which had been cleared and everyone was waiting. I thought I would be really stressed but I wasn't. I was extremely calm. Chita was standing there in a black shirt and blue sulu with a big smile. We stood in front of the marriage celebrant and my chucked together ceremony began.
When my sister Emma read out this poem there was not a dry eye in the house. Even Chita was sniffling and had tears running down his cheeks.
Today by Betrand Russell
Today I marry my friend,
The one I have laughed and cried with
The one I have learned from and shared with
The one I have chosen to support, encourage and give myself to
Through all the days given us to share.
Today I marry the one I love.
We played 'Seasons of Love' from Rent which talks about what happens in the year of a life with friends....
My brother spoke well.. talking about our persistence and patience over the last four years and talked about Chita's commitment to his village and how he has helped with so many community projects...
The rest of the day was a blur - champagne appeared, one of my sister's Trina cooked some of the food I had prepared, Chita took off his sulu, and tied it around his head while preparing the lovo - he had shorts on underneath of course. The kids all surrounded him to help, so he made spears out of wood for them all - a few eyebrows were raised....
The cake was a confection of chocolate mousse, meringue, dark chocolate torte and cream encased in white chocolate fondant in folds - a three tier extravaganza with frosted blueberries and raspberries. I had never seen anything like it. Perfect.
We had lovo for dinner cooked by my brothers, Chita and the kids.... a bit of karaoke, and then we watched the fireworks over the harbour for New Year's eve.
Around 10 pm we drove home to our little flat.
Amanda, can you please make me a toasted sandwich, I did not eat very much today.
He was busy serving everyone else and making sure everyone else was comfortable.
I walked into the bedroom carrying a hot toasted sandwich and Chita was in bed, curled up fast asleep.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
All I want for Christmas is you!
I can't believe it! I am catching a flight this afternoon to Melbourne to pick up Chita who finally has a stamped prospective spouse visa in his passport. Yes it has happened. He and I have been wandering around in shock - its kind of surreal. We have been kept in a waiting station, being constantly bombarded with requests for more documents and I was thinking in my head, that the High Commission could hold off our visas until Dec 23rd or be cruel and wait until the New Year.
How did it happen? Well Chita went to Suva on Tuesday and told them we were getting married in December. He got engagement and wedding confused. I had been thinking that we should have a small family wedding on New Year's Eve when all my 6 siblings and partners and children were home from Victoria and Switzerland. He asked me for a letter. I emailed my migration agent to ask what sort of letter and he told me that I needed to get a letter from a marriage celebrant. I was heading out on the Derwent River here in Hobart for a boat licence and got a call from Chita asking why I had not faxed the letter through. My head was spinning and I had to wait until 4 pm to get back to my office and start making calls. I found all the marriage celebrants in Hobart and started calling. The first one who answered and said yes got the job. It turned out to be Christine Howard who said she had no problem marrying us on New Year's Eve at 2 pm.
My family were completely unaware as I had initially told them we would marry around Easter or June at the latest. It has been busy but I think its been worth it as the ceremony will be short, simple and sweet, in front of my family only and then I will organise a series of wedding parties for friends... keep the party going and slowly introduce him to all my friends.
I had to ring everyone in my family to tell them the news without being sure that I had a venue for the wedding. My mother was quiet. My sister Georgia - that's a bit quick. We've only known each other for four years... Polly and Trina were effusive in their congratulations. I then drove up to my brother Daniel's house and asked them if they would mind sharing their wedding anniversary with us. No problem. I did a one stop shop and asked them to be the witnesses as well.
I confirmed the Wedding on Wednesday December 16th and had to wait a WHOLE DAY for Christine to get back from a funeral to write the letter. On Friday December 18th I drove to Jane Franklin Hall to pick up the letter and discovered two spelling errors - my name as Angel and his name spelt wrong. She kindly re- typed our letter. I was quietly sweating as I wanted to get the letter scanned and emailed to Suva before midday. I had a feeling it would sit in someone's mail box until Monday.
Got back to school and couldn't find a scanner that would work. I was having a quiet panic and ended up getting the letter scanned and emailed and collapsed in a heap.
Chita meanwhile was not responding to his phone as he had lost it. It had fallen out of his pocket getting out of a car.
So the last few days have been Fijian style. Me ringing friends in Fiji to convey messages and finally ringing him at his mum's house after a re-arranged time. Its been quietly frustrating but we have got it together.
Our good friend Victor printed the email booking for Chita to take to Suva today. In my haste to book the tickets this week I accidentally typed Barbados for country of origin. I also booked my ticket to Melbourne for the weekend but accidentally booked my return for after xmaS. I was obviously in emotional turmoil. I am so happy. I am so excited. I have turned into my mother and have been cleaning my office, my tiny appartment and car in preparation. I am writing my final blog for the year and looking forward to a fun touristy weekend in Melbourne, before an huge family xmas followed by a wedding. What more could a girl ask for?
For those girls in the same position as me - take heart and take care of yourself. Its a long haul but worth it...
Will fill you in on the wedding and how a tall smiley Fijian village boy copes with life in Hobart - there will be some funny stories I am sure!
Merry Christmas to all and hope Santa brings you what you want the most!
How did it happen? Well Chita went to Suva on Tuesday and told them we were getting married in December. He got engagement and wedding confused. I had been thinking that we should have a small family wedding on New Year's Eve when all my 6 siblings and partners and children were home from Victoria and Switzerland. He asked me for a letter. I emailed my migration agent to ask what sort of letter and he told me that I needed to get a letter from a marriage celebrant. I was heading out on the Derwent River here in Hobart for a boat licence and got a call from Chita asking why I had not faxed the letter through. My head was spinning and I had to wait until 4 pm to get back to my office and start making calls. I found all the marriage celebrants in Hobart and started calling. The first one who answered and said yes got the job. It turned out to be Christine Howard who said she had no problem marrying us on New Year's Eve at 2 pm.
My family were completely unaware as I had initially told them we would marry around Easter or June at the latest. It has been busy but I think its been worth it as the ceremony will be short, simple and sweet, in front of my family only and then I will organise a series of wedding parties for friends... keep the party going and slowly introduce him to all my friends.
I had to ring everyone in my family to tell them the news without being sure that I had a venue for the wedding. My mother was quiet. My sister Georgia - that's a bit quick. We've only known each other for four years... Polly and Trina were effusive in their congratulations. I then drove up to my brother Daniel's house and asked them if they would mind sharing their wedding anniversary with us. No problem. I did a one stop shop and asked them to be the witnesses as well.
I confirmed the Wedding on Wednesday December 16th and had to wait a WHOLE DAY for Christine to get back from a funeral to write the letter. On Friday December 18th I drove to Jane Franklin Hall to pick up the letter and discovered two spelling errors - my name as Angel and his name spelt wrong. She kindly re- typed our letter. I was quietly sweating as I wanted to get the letter scanned and emailed to Suva before midday. I had a feeling it would sit in someone's mail box until Monday.
Got back to school and couldn't find a scanner that would work. I was having a quiet panic and ended up getting the letter scanned and emailed and collapsed in a heap.
Chita meanwhile was not responding to his phone as he had lost it. It had fallen out of his pocket getting out of a car.
So the last few days have been Fijian style. Me ringing friends in Fiji to convey messages and finally ringing him at his mum's house after a re-arranged time. Its been quietly frustrating but we have got it together.
Our good friend Victor printed the email booking for Chita to take to Suva today. In my haste to book the tickets this week I accidentally typed Barbados for country of origin. I also booked my ticket to Melbourne for the weekend but accidentally booked my return for after xmaS. I was obviously in emotional turmoil. I am so happy. I am so excited. I have turned into my mother and have been cleaning my office, my tiny appartment and car in preparation. I am writing my final blog for the year and looking forward to a fun touristy weekend in Melbourne, before an huge family xmas followed by a wedding. What more could a girl ask for?
For those girls in the same position as me - take heart and take care of yourself. Its a long haul but worth it...
Will fill you in on the wedding and how a tall smiley Fijian village boy copes with life in Hobart - there will be some funny stories I am sure!
Merry Christmas to all and hope Santa brings you what you want the most!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Visas for Fijian Males to Australia
When I first met Chita, one of his friends worked at the New Zealand High Commission and told me that there was no way they would give him a visitor's visa as he had no income and had not worked in a resort for five years. Instead he had gone bush and was working on the family plantation. It was a tricky time for us - we had just met, we were keen to see each other a lot and in the first year I visited Fiji 7 times and spent every scrap of savings I had. I bought him a mobile phone to maintain contact and he also learnt how to send texts.
We then set up a small business. We followed the six steps of setting up a business in Suva and with all the documentation at our fingertips we applied for a short term business visa with me sponsoring his expenses. It was refused, as he had insufficient income - my status of sponsorship was not even considered. That was in 2005.
Chita had the shop to build so he wasn't too worried. I could still visit Fiji on holiday breaks being a teacher so we decided to put all our energy into setting up a business in Fiji.
At the end of 2006 Chita was playing rugby and was part of a team chosen to represent Fiji at Fiji Day in Sydney. He had lost his phone and I hadn't been back so we had no way of contacting each other on an impromptu basis - we had a committed phone call to someone's phone in the village every Monday night at 7 pm. I paid for his ticket, booked a ticket for myself to Sydney with a girlfriend. We turn up to Fiji day and he is nowhere to be seen. We ask friendly Fijians if the team from Votua had arrived. No, no, they will be here by one o'clock or one-thirty. We eat, we wander, we watch the dancing and singing. The teams arrive. I am directed to the adjacent park and asked the coach where Chita was. He and the boys are coming in a van= they are running late. We went back to get a seat for the game. The game starts - 10 minutes passes - no Chita, 20 minutes passes- no Chita. I walk onto the ground where all the Fijians were sitting watching the game and called out - Does anyone know where Esita Tubuna is? A sea of blank faces presented itself. I ask again a little more loudly. A young Fijian guy puts up his hand and tells me: He is back in Fiji. The visa for the team was refused.
Little did I know that this story hit Votua within 24 hours. A lady walking around the oval YELLING for Esita Tubuna. His mother found it amusing - as Fijian never raise their voice. What kind of outlandish creature was asking for her son, who had told her repeatedly he would never have a girlfriend again and was never going to marry.
I cried buckets. Went out for dinner and wept through my bowl of prawns, drank a lot and suddenly felt marginally better. I spent Sunday on my own travelling around Sydney Harbour on and off ferries still weeping in glorious sunshine - going why can't I ring him? Why can't I talk to him? I wrote a ten page letter and posted it. Then managed to talk to him at our appointed time on a Monday night back in Tassie and he says - don't worry!!!!!
My second attempt at a visa was a visitor's visa last year. We had been together for two years, we have a business in Fiji which is not making much money, I wanted to introduce him to my family and he gets refused again for all the same reasons and my sponsorship was again refused. I was gutted and devastated. I had presumed everything and provided supporting documentation and they ignored it all. I did not want to be around happy family. My mother thought she was being supportive by telling me to get over it. I'm sorry mum but this hurts. My sisters were instantly immigration agents who knew it all, and thought it was their right to tell me- that he had had no chance of getting a visitor's visa as they had contacts, and they knew better. Not what I needed.
My third attempt at a visa has been applying for a prospective spouse visa. Why didn't we get married? Because of the living 12 months continuously clause. I tried to live in Fiji last year and find a job so I could get a work permit but there was nothing available and what was available was slave labour.
Our migration agent suggested there were fewer hurdles for the prospective spouse visa so we went with that.
Its been a gruelling and taxing time for me emotionally, physically and mentally. I am a Type A personality who gets things done and I have been constantly thwarted by Fiji.
Even handing over the business to friends is huge for me, as I would love to be there getting a bakery-cafe set up and meeting heaps of people but instead I have had to relinquish that dream and prioritize. I need Chita in my life. He needs to learn Australian ways or this mixed marriage will go nowhere. We have more opportunities here, and I have to postpone my bakery-cafe for 2-5 years realistically while we get ourselves into a financially stable position. Boring but necessary.
So now you know why Chita has not been to Australia. Fijian males between 20-45 have great difficulty getting a visitor's visa. Fijians are put into a high risk category for overstaying which when you apply for visas you wonder how they could think that, as they can't get in the bloody country. I am with Rupert Murdoch who in his Boyer's lectures has stated that Australia needs to lift its restrictive immigration policies and build a working nation..... I agree wholeheartedly!
We then set up a small business. We followed the six steps of setting up a business in Suva and with all the documentation at our fingertips we applied for a short term business visa with me sponsoring his expenses. It was refused, as he had insufficient income - my status of sponsorship was not even considered. That was in 2005.
Chita had the shop to build so he wasn't too worried. I could still visit Fiji on holiday breaks being a teacher so we decided to put all our energy into setting up a business in Fiji.
At the end of 2006 Chita was playing rugby and was part of a team chosen to represent Fiji at Fiji Day in Sydney. He had lost his phone and I hadn't been back so we had no way of contacting each other on an impromptu basis - we had a committed phone call to someone's phone in the village every Monday night at 7 pm. I paid for his ticket, booked a ticket for myself to Sydney with a girlfriend. We turn up to Fiji day and he is nowhere to be seen. We ask friendly Fijians if the team from Votua had arrived. No, no, they will be here by one o'clock or one-thirty. We eat, we wander, we watch the dancing and singing. The teams arrive. I am directed to the adjacent park and asked the coach where Chita was. He and the boys are coming in a van= they are running late. We went back to get a seat for the game. The game starts - 10 minutes passes - no Chita, 20 minutes passes- no Chita. I walk onto the ground where all the Fijians were sitting watching the game and called out - Does anyone know where Esita Tubuna is? A sea of blank faces presented itself. I ask again a little more loudly. A young Fijian guy puts up his hand and tells me: He is back in Fiji. The visa for the team was refused.
Little did I know that this story hit Votua within 24 hours. A lady walking around the oval YELLING for Esita Tubuna. His mother found it amusing - as Fijian never raise their voice. What kind of outlandish creature was asking for her son, who had told her repeatedly he would never have a girlfriend again and was never going to marry.
I cried buckets. Went out for dinner and wept through my bowl of prawns, drank a lot and suddenly felt marginally better. I spent Sunday on my own travelling around Sydney Harbour on and off ferries still weeping in glorious sunshine - going why can't I ring him? Why can't I talk to him? I wrote a ten page letter and posted it. Then managed to talk to him at our appointed time on a Monday night back in Tassie and he says - don't worry!!!!!
My second attempt at a visa was a visitor's visa last year. We had been together for two years, we have a business in Fiji which is not making much money, I wanted to introduce him to my family and he gets refused again for all the same reasons and my sponsorship was again refused. I was gutted and devastated. I had presumed everything and provided supporting documentation and they ignored it all. I did not want to be around happy family. My mother thought she was being supportive by telling me to get over it. I'm sorry mum but this hurts. My sisters were instantly immigration agents who knew it all, and thought it was their right to tell me- that he had had no chance of getting a visitor's visa as they had contacts, and they knew better. Not what I needed.
My third attempt at a visa has been applying for a prospective spouse visa. Why didn't we get married? Because of the living 12 months continuously clause. I tried to live in Fiji last year and find a job so I could get a work permit but there was nothing available and what was available was slave labour.
Our migration agent suggested there were fewer hurdles for the prospective spouse visa so we went with that.
Its been a gruelling and taxing time for me emotionally, physically and mentally. I am a Type A personality who gets things done and I have been constantly thwarted by Fiji.
Even handing over the business to friends is huge for me, as I would love to be there getting a bakery-cafe set up and meeting heaps of people but instead I have had to relinquish that dream and prioritize. I need Chita in my life. He needs to learn Australian ways or this mixed marriage will go nowhere. We have more opportunities here, and I have to postpone my bakery-cafe for 2-5 years realistically while we get ourselves into a financially stable position. Boring but necessary.
So now you know why Chita has not been to Australia. Fijian males between 20-45 have great difficulty getting a visitor's visa. Fijians are put into a high risk category for overstaying which when you apply for visas you wonder how they could think that, as they can't get in the bloody country. I am with Rupert Murdoch who in his Boyer's lectures has stated that Australia needs to lift its restrictive immigration policies and build a working nation..... I agree wholeheartedly!
Monday, November 17, 2008
Hanging in there!
I had a serious chat to Chita yesterday. He is hanging in there. He like me is starting to think is this ever going to happen. I have paid for a migration agent - how can they not believe our relationship is genuine. How do we prove that our relationship is genuine. We don't have phone accounts other than vodafone. We don't write letters to each other anymore. I talk to him every couple of days on the phone and send a text or two. He has no computer -he cannot send emails.
Its the evidence according to Australian standards that is killing us. We don't have a home in Fiji - yet. We don't have a phone line, or electricity bills or water bills together (anyway in Fiji water is free)
I could compile a whole load of papers but it still doesn't prove that we love and care for each other. Chita has been interviewed but I have not. I hope that the sacrifice of moving to Hobart, to get a full time job, and live with a friend has paid off. It has cost me my health - a wriggly worm maybe lodged in my intestines - but not for long - a dose of vermox is going to shoo him out.
I keep saying patience is something I thought I had but it fades with inaction. Luckily Chita has something to do. Take a form we have already submitted, fill it out again and take a van ride to Suva and back and submit it. Please God, let this be the last thing they ask for.
Flights are going up. I am saving madly. I cannot afford to go to Fiji to go and get him. He will have to make his own way from Nadi to Sydney and then Melbourne. I will meet him there for the weekend and show him the sights and eat fabulous food together.
I have never been this powerless in my life. Our future lies in the hands of an office clerk, who may be having a good day or a bad day. He or she may feel like doing this properly or dismissing our case to the bottom of the pile. Who knows? December is looming and I know Chita is getting nervous. I am hiding my nerves and thinking he will be here in a couple of weeks. Why the hell not?
I told him in September last year I could not continue living apart. I have a partner who is invisible to my family and friends, who knows nothing of my life and who has never visited my country. I can't live like this.
Please Kevin Rudd ease up on the restrictions on immigration. Even Rupert Murdoch told you so.
I need him here. We need to have a life together or what's the point of it all?
Its the evidence according to Australian standards that is killing us. We don't have a home in Fiji - yet. We don't have a phone line, or electricity bills or water bills together (anyway in Fiji water is free)
I could compile a whole load of papers but it still doesn't prove that we love and care for each other. Chita has been interviewed but I have not. I hope that the sacrifice of moving to Hobart, to get a full time job, and live with a friend has paid off. It has cost me my health - a wriggly worm maybe lodged in my intestines - but not for long - a dose of vermox is going to shoo him out.
I keep saying patience is something I thought I had but it fades with inaction. Luckily Chita has something to do. Take a form we have already submitted, fill it out again and take a van ride to Suva and back and submit it. Please God, let this be the last thing they ask for.
Flights are going up. I am saving madly. I cannot afford to go to Fiji to go and get him. He will have to make his own way from Nadi to Sydney and then Melbourne. I will meet him there for the weekend and show him the sights and eat fabulous food together.
I have never been this powerless in my life. Our future lies in the hands of an office clerk, who may be having a good day or a bad day. He or she may feel like doing this properly or dismissing our case to the bottom of the pile. Who knows? December is looming and I know Chita is getting nervous. I am hiding my nerves and thinking he will be here in a couple of weeks. Why the hell not?
I told him in September last year I could not continue living apart. I have a partner who is invisible to my family and friends, who knows nothing of my life and who has never visited my country. I can't live like this.
Please Kevin Rudd ease up on the restrictions on immigration. Even Rupert Murdoch told you so.
I need him here. We need to have a life together or what's the point of it all?
Sunday, November 16, 2008
The last month has been an ordeal. I have been tired, sluggish, exhausted and lethargic to the max. I have had difficulty walking from my car to my office. I have had breathless attacks and palpitations. By Melbourne cup day I was thinking there is no way I can go to the school sports as I will not be able to walk around the oval with the students. I had tried to get a blood test the day before but the nurse could not find a vein. I presented myself again to my Russian doctor and was sent off to Pathology where they have fine needles and its no problem to get blood out of anyone. I then had a chest xray making sure I parked as close as possible to each venue so that I did not have to walk far. I was so buggared by those two activities that I drove home, went to sleep and woke up in time to see the Melbourne Cup and miss at least eight phone calls. I thought it was a colleague reminding me of a meeting at the Royal Botanical Gardens that afternoon but oh no, it was my doctor ringing. She had even rung my mum, who rang me to tell me to ring her back. I was ordered straight to hospital with a blood count of 39.How had I been walking around. Why had I not fainted and collapsed while walking or driving? Dunno. I am old Irish stock on both sides of the family and my father is surviving Parkinsons so I hopefully inherited some of his tough old boot strength. Into hospital I go. I order a taxi which takes me to emergency. I line up behind a drugged out skateboard who needed a band aid on his knee and when he did not get one big enough decided to throw his skateboard at the unbreakable windows, but the only thing that hurt was the reverberating noise. Security was called so he raced off, giving us all the finger. By this stage I am definitely feeling fragile. The nurse finds my paperwork and ushers me into emergency where I promptly burst into tears. Shock or terror or both. I was laid on a trolley and the bloody awful blood tests began. There was also the issue of inserting a canula into a non-existent vein but I really don't want to think about it. I had oxygen. I waited for the doctor who kept talking about 'internal bleeding'. I am thinking 'No I have no sign of that!' I just feel awful pretty much all the time. Then the brain worked and went, blood loss ie internal bleeding. I had no sign of it - no pain in my ovaries, no blood in my stools, no gut ache. I was a mystery to them all. I waited for family to call but there was no mobile reception in the the emergency department so I just watched the goings on around me. I heard a man next door with chest pain who had recently had a double b-pass and then I think I closed my eyes for a rest.
I was taken up to the ward and told a blood transfusion was next. I had to sign a paper saying that I accepted the blood as there is a slight chance I could have a reaction to it. By this stage I did not care. Feel better. What's that? I have been feeling so crappy for so long. I had visions that I was permanently going to be in this crappy unwell state - but no fear - blood makes it better. I am 0+ common as muck and I thank those people out there who give blood; as I feel so much better now.
I was kept in hospital for a week, and starved, as they had plans for me - a gastroenteroscopy and a colonoscopy which kept getting postponed. Drinks and jelly were my lot. How I looked forward to raspberry, orange or lemon jelly. Down to the day operations area, lying on the trolley, pale and fragile, and the anaethetist refuses to sedate me saying my blood count was still too low. I had endured a bowel clean of thunderous proportions for nothing. It was postponed a week. Bloody hell! Cannot say enough about the kindness and care from nursing staff as I had never been in hospital that long before. I was taking the least amount of pills compared to other patients and was just resting. They were all shake, rattling and rolling every night at pill dispensing time. I had a puff of my puffer and a drug to help control food acid in case I had a gastric ulcer of worse a stomach cancer. I knew I had no pain so I felt safe.
I wasn't looking forward to being knocked out, but it was quick. One minute I am looking at the anaethetist saying' I feel funny' and then I roll over and the surgeon is talking to me, and then I am gone. I wake up in recovery. The weird thing was my hearing came back first, and I woke up talking in response to a conversation amongst the nurses, then my brain kicked in. My initial response was 'amazing'. Its over and I am feeling alright... Yippee. A two hour wait and I see the surgeon who tells me ' No we did not find anything'.
I spend the weekend relaxing and then receive a phone call from a friend in Fiji who had just been back to the states, and had a blood test for a parasitic worm that lodges in the intestine. I also received another call from friends who had lived in Jamaica who suggested the same thing.
So now I am off to have another blood test - for this rapid blood loss - and yes it maybe caused by a parasitic worm in my intestine. Lovely!
In the meantime my beloved Chita in Fiji has been struggling through some issues himself. We are handing over the cafe to Fabi and Dege for two years. In return they get a bure on the beach and will renovate, maintain and upgrade the buildings. We will be setting up two businesses - they are having an art business and we will run the food business. I am never having partners again- the only partner I want is my husband to be. He has not spelt out to them that he will be in Australia for two years so they think he is around to work the business and be a partner. He had a meeting last week with them over a bowl of kava to sort out what is going on.
The visa - what can I say? Its been a bloody never ending story and I cannot believe it has taken this long and we still do not have a verdict. Chita had his interview in Suva on October 21st and then my migration agent received a request for more information. I rang and asked for clarification of when - the last six months or the last four years.
His response - this is highly irregular.
I had been trying to tell him how the Embassy in Suva worked but he would not believe me.
His next response was even more inappropriate - I am sorry Amanda but I think you are a genuine candidate but he is not.
Who bloody well asked you for your opinion, when you know nothing. I was flabbergasted.
I then reiterated that the Embassy in Suva loved lots of paper, loved to ask for more and more of it, and that it had nothing to do with Chita.
I asked him to send an email asking for clarification. A week passed and he did not ring. I rang him on the Friday and he did not answer his mobile but got his wife to answer. He's busy. Ring Monday.
Time is passing. I am reliving my visitor visa application of last year. It got to November and the applications for visa closes. Then the Embassy closes for Christmas and then it will be New Year before anything happens. I just do not want to repeat last Christmas on my own - with family, saying 'get over it, you knew it was going to happen, they don't let Fijians into Australia easily you know' And when did they all become Immigration department agents I ask myself.
Anyhow I applied pressure to the greek agent with a volcanic response. My sister in law decided to call him and ask him if he had sent the email. He hung up on her.
Great weekend that was. I sent an email authorising her on my behalf as he never seems to listen to me, and never pays any attention to what I say about the embassy in Suva. I have applied three times already; I am not a novice.
Anyhow rang him who must be obeyed and never questioned on the Monday and he was ready to pull the pin. I will not work through someone else. I managed to calm him down and get him to confirm that he would call the embassy and find out.
I waited Tuesday, Wednesday and then Thursday to make sure.
Amanda it is really difficult to call the embassy in Suva - you were right. They do want lots of paperwork. Yes the embassy does stop taking applications in November and yes they do close for Christmas and New Year.
A cheap victory. I just want Chita here.
The Friday before I wilted,and wandered off to hospital, I copied all the phone account, my text to Chita, his texts to me, a sample huge phone bill and my bank statements - with something actually in my account. The following Monday I dragged my tired body to my sister in laws work where she scanned and emailed them to he who must be obeyed.
The next day I was in hospital - so not bad. I have just had an email today asking for one more form which we have already filled out, but who cares lets do it again ( maybe it was misplaced) and Chita is picking up a copy from a friend of ours in Votua who has a computer and printer. Yippee!
We are at the last stage. He could be given the thumbs up in the next couple of weeks. All I want for Christmas is Esita Tubuna in Tassie.
I rang him today and he was flat. If I don't get the visa - we will think of something else. What? I can't get a job in Fiji. He can't get a job anywhere else. What hope have we got?
He has to come to Australia. Its the only way to give ourselves freedom and lots of options. I will not give up. We are so close I can feel it.
I am wishing, and hoping - no intestinal worm for me, and a little stamp in a kind, gentle Fijian male's passport - which will bring a slow beaming smile.
Santa are you listening?
I was taken up to the ward and told a blood transfusion was next. I had to sign a paper saying that I accepted the blood as there is a slight chance I could have a reaction to it. By this stage I did not care. Feel better. What's that? I have been feeling so crappy for so long. I had visions that I was permanently going to be in this crappy unwell state - but no fear - blood makes it better. I am 0+ common as muck and I thank those people out there who give blood; as I feel so much better now.
I was kept in hospital for a week, and starved, as they had plans for me - a gastroenteroscopy and a colonoscopy which kept getting postponed. Drinks and jelly were my lot. How I looked forward to raspberry, orange or lemon jelly. Down to the day operations area, lying on the trolley, pale and fragile, and the anaethetist refuses to sedate me saying my blood count was still too low. I had endured a bowel clean of thunderous proportions for nothing. It was postponed a week. Bloody hell! Cannot say enough about the kindness and care from nursing staff as I had never been in hospital that long before. I was taking the least amount of pills compared to other patients and was just resting. They were all shake, rattling and rolling every night at pill dispensing time. I had a puff of my puffer and a drug to help control food acid in case I had a gastric ulcer of worse a stomach cancer. I knew I had no pain so I felt safe.
I wasn't looking forward to being knocked out, but it was quick. One minute I am looking at the anaethetist saying' I feel funny' and then I roll over and the surgeon is talking to me, and then I am gone. I wake up in recovery. The weird thing was my hearing came back first, and I woke up talking in response to a conversation amongst the nurses, then my brain kicked in. My initial response was 'amazing'. Its over and I am feeling alright... Yippee. A two hour wait and I see the surgeon who tells me ' No we did not find anything'.
I spend the weekend relaxing and then receive a phone call from a friend in Fiji who had just been back to the states, and had a blood test for a parasitic worm that lodges in the intestine. I also received another call from friends who had lived in Jamaica who suggested the same thing.
So now I am off to have another blood test - for this rapid blood loss - and yes it maybe caused by a parasitic worm in my intestine. Lovely!
In the meantime my beloved Chita in Fiji has been struggling through some issues himself. We are handing over the cafe to Fabi and Dege for two years. In return they get a bure on the beach and will renovate, maintain and upgrade the buildings. We will be setting up two businesses - they are having an art business and we will run the food business. I am never having partners again- the only partner I want is my husband to be. He has not spelt out to them that he will be in Australia for two years so they think he is around to work the business and be a partner. He had a meeting last week with them over a bowl of kava to sort out what is going on.
The visa - what can I say? Its been a bloody never ending story and I cannot believe it has taken this long and we still do not have a verdict. Chita had his interview in Suva on October 21st and then my migration agent received a request for more information. I rang and asked for clarification of when - the last six months or the last four years.
His response - this is highly irregular.
I had been trying to tell him how the Embassy in Suva worked but he would not believe me.
His next response was even more inappropriate - I am sorry Amanda but I think you are a genuine candidate but he is not.
Who bloody well asked you for your opinion, when you know nothing. I was flabbergasted.
I then reiterated that the Embassy in Suva loved lots of paper, loved to ask for more and more of it, and that it had nothing to do with Chita.
I asked him to send an email asking for clarification. A week passed and he did not ring. I rang him on the Friday and he did not answer his mobile but got his wife to answer. He's busy. Ring Monday.
Time is passing. I am reliving my visitor visa application of last year. It got to November and the applications for visa closes. Then the Embassy closes for Christmas and then it will be New Year before anything happens. I just do not want to repeat last Christmas on my own - with family, saying 'get over it, you knew it was going to happen, they don't let Fijians into Australia easily you know' And when did they all become Immigration department agents I ask myself.
Anyhow I applied pressure to the greek agent with a volcanic response. My sister in law decided to call him and ask him if he had sent the email. He hung up on her.
Great weekend that was. I sent an email authorising her on my behalf as he never seems to listen to me, and never pays any attention to what I say about the embassy in Suva. I have applied three times already; I am not a novice.
Anyhow rang him who must be obeyed and never questioned on the Monday and he was ready to pull the pin. I will not work through someone else. I managed to calm him down and get him to confirm that he would call the embassy and find out.
I waited Tuesday, Wednesday and then Thursday to make sure.
Amanda it is really difficult to call the embassy in Suva - you were right. They do want lots of paperwork. Yes the embassy does stop taking applications in November and yes they do close for Christmas and New Year.
A cheap victory. I just want Chita here.
The Friday before I wilted,and wandered off to hospital, I copied all the phone account, my text to Chita, his texts to me, a sample huge phone bill and my bank statements - with something actually in my account. The following Monday I dragged my tired body to my sister in laws work where she scanned and emailed them to he who must be obeyed.
The next day I was in hospital - so not bad. I have just had an email today asking for one more form which we have already filled out, but who cares lets do it again ( maybe it was misplaced) and Chita is picking up a copy from a friend of ours in Votua who has a computer and printer. Yippee!
We are at the last stage. He could be given the thumbs up in the next couple of weeks. All I want for Christmas is Esita Tubuna in Tassie.
I rang him today and he was flat. If I don't get the visa - we will think of something else. What? I can't get a job in Fiji. He can't get a job anywhere else. What hope have we got?
He has to come to Australia. Its the only way to give ourselves freedom and lots of options. I will not give up. We are so close I can feel it.
I am wishing, and hoping - no intestinal worm for me, and a little stamp in a kind, gentle Fijian male's passport - which will bring a slow beaming smile.
Santa are you listening?
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Sandwiched, Skint, but Sweaty!
My life in never dull. I am an extremely organised person, I plan things well, I get things done. However, put the word 'Fiji' or the island thereof into the equation and everything I know and understand goes out the window.
It was great to fly Air Pacific to Fiji for a change- instead of arriving tired and half starved on Virgin Blue, I actually got a nice meal, plenty of drinks,a friendly young couple for company and watched movies all the way.... I arrived in Nadi on time and noticed the boys with the ukele are no longer singing - a budgetary cutback no doubt and my transition through customs was seamless. I push my trolley to the ANZ ATM to extract a wad of cash and turn around to seek out the eyes of my beloved, and of course he is not there.
I buy a quick phone card to make a call, as I will never have International Roaming again ( $1600 phone bill) and hear his quiet dulcet tones saying " I am just getting off the bus".
We catch a taxi to Hotel San Bruno, cheap, cheerful and very quiet. My boy has grown very hairy and a beard is something new to adjust to. We take off to an Indian restaurant in Namaka for Tandoori prawns and duck curry.
I wake to the glorious heat and sunshine of Fiji only to fall in a complete heap. I stay lounging on my bed while Chita runs around on errands. I have had a coughing virus which has worn me out and its nice to hand over to someone else for a change. I eventually get dressed and we head off to Port Denarau for dinner. We sit at one of the cafes on the esplanade and enjoy sitting outdoors.
Sunday morning I had planned for us to catch a boat to Castaway to lounge around the pool with my brother and his family. Not to be. No bathers, sarong and thongs for me. We arrive early to find the booking station besieged and only one place to the island - Castaway only takes 15 day trippers a day. Buggar. I should have booked it yesterday but could not move. Instead Chita says 'Let's hire a car' Part of me wanted to say - no bloody way, I am too tired, its going to make me more tired, and we will be driving miles I know it" and then the soft side of me - I love this man, why don't I just give him what he wants' and therein lies my biggest mistake. Do not overide the I am too tired, and I really don't need this button. We head off to Satellite cars from whom I will never, ever, ever hire another car. I hired a car for the day last trip and had to beat them down on price and conditions. This time, it was way too expensive, no give, and the cost horrendous. I gave in. Why oh why?
We drove to Lautoka to drop off a photo to Chita's daughter Ranadi; who was not home. Let's drive down to Votua and I can show you the renovations to the shop and no one will see us, so we can escape again.
I knew it. An hour and a half later we hit Votua, have a look at the shop -which is going to be great. The building has been extended, the roof is being redone, the bathroom and toilet block concrete foundations have been laid and it looks like the plans developed by Fabi (an Italian friend) and Dege, her partner, have been well thought out.
I have time for a quick swim and we are off.
Please can we stop in Sigatoka?
Okay. As we drive around the roundabout, a van and car appear on our left and block our turn. I stop and Mr Grog in his fluoro green four wheel drive, goes right up the back of us. I step out, and there is a dent in the panel as well as a dent in the bumper bar.
No I didn't do anything. It was already there.
We had not had a condition report so I wasn't sure.
Chita, get out and have a look.
There is a dent, but its not your fault, don't worry about it.
I drove back to Nadi in an absolute lather, repeating over and over to myself why do I do these things when I don't have money in reserve to pay.
Sure enough the fine print states driver is responsible for all damages even if caused by another driver. Driver is also to pay up to $4,000 damage. Great.
I head off to the Satellite office for a fight and of course try madly to getout of it, but they have my credit card details and I have to pay. I manage to take a few hundred off the bill and then I realise that once I have paid that + the balance in cash - we have no holiday fund.
I was livid, pissed off, frothing at the mouth, and when the guy from Satellite dropped my off at our hotel, saying 'See you next time Amanda' I muttered 'Not bloody likely' and let the bomb drop on my relaxed boy lying on the bed watching tv.
I am never hiring a car again in Fiji. This is the last straw! It costs a fortune and now I have to pay damages for something I did not do. We are now officially skint so forget daytrips and romantic getaways - we have no money.
Will you have to go home?
What? Miss ever resourceful has got Chita's mobile phone out and quickly texting two friends who knew I was already scraping the bottom of the barrell to go, and had offered financial back up. Lucky I have good friends...
Lucky I had already paid for the accomdation in Suva at the Quest appartments for a week, and lucky I had already bought some food, so we were not destitute.
I am so over this half life we have in Fiji. I don't get the tropical holiday, I get living a city life with Chita in preparation for Oz and getting the visa organised - boring paperwork. I want real holidays with my man from here on in. I am so sick of being financially strapped. I am so sick of budgeting. I am so sick of this drain on my time, energy and resources. Give us the visa please...
Can we please move on from this half life to fun times in Oz in December.
I have all my family, friends and colleagues going - when's he coming? As if its tomorrow. 'Soon' is my reply. Everything moves so quickly here in Oz, no one can believe I have had to wait this bloody long, and the Department of Immigration could stretch it out until December, or refuse us, or ask for more information and delay us and then its the Migrant's tribunal with a migration barrister or get married and wait for a spouse visa - spend more money and wait all over again.... I hope this prospective spouse visa works. Fewer hurdles to overcome were the famous last words of my migration agent.... we shall see.
Anyhow I spent the rest of the day flat as you can imagine and thought" Come on, get over it, you only have a week with Chita- try and have fun!
Chita really likes the Quest appartments as it feels like we live in our own little world, our own little pad, and we live like a couple. He wakes up early and makes coffee. Then he runs off to get the papers. I make him a cooked breakast. We lounge about. Plan our day - a walk - a shop - a trip to the pictures $5 thank god and cheap as chips. He loves watching television and is a complete remote control freak.
We talk a lot about what we want to do and I am happy knowing Fabi and Dege are coming on board with the shop. We have put so much into it, and I have had a real issue dealing with the fact I can't be there to help make it grow into a real cafe. It tortures me, but I am the breadwinner at this stage and have no choice. Fabi and Dege had a guest house with no lease and have been kicked out after 5 years of renovating the place, so they needed a place to stay. We have negotiated in true island style, a place for them to live on the beach strip while they in return renovate the shop and make some additions. They are also going to build two bures - one for them and one for us - so Chita and I will have somewhere to stay when we visit and we can also rent it out to people passing by which will be good.
We had lunch with Fabi and Dege in Suva on the last Thursday and I suddenly discovered we were off to the accountant to sign an agreement and I had only seen it for five minutes and told Chita we needed to discuss it further. Avoidance is great in the Fijian male, especially when they know there is going to be an argument and they just want to keep the peace.
I was again volcanic but managed to keep it under control during the meeting. The agreement was okay. However, discussions of partnerships and setting up companies threw me, as I had not even had a chance to get my head around how the shop is going to managed while we are in Australia. My gut reaction is to lease the business to Fabi and Dege for two years with a review.... I don't want to spend any more serious money until I am ready to get his wood fired oven bakery off the ground.
I was in turmoil emotionally. I want so badly to be in Fiji and get this up and running but we don't have the money. I want to build a two bedroom shack so we can live a simple life and we don't have the money. I am constantly supporting the shop, saving up for this visa, and then spending any potential savings going back and forth to Fiji -it has been the most testing time of my life and I advise others to think carefully.
Of course I love him, and want to be with him. I have tried so hard to get a reasonably well paid job in Fiji but with the coup - no go. I have tried to get grants- but they are no go. Its not meant to be at this stage. Chita needs to come here, and learn about my life and develop a work ethic which will help grow the business in Fiji.
I know I always go for a challenge and the challenges won't stop when he gets here.
How is going to cope with the cold in Tassie? Don't know.
What kind of work does he want to do? I am hoping he will give anything a go.
What if he doesn't like it? He is coming here to get married to me - Tassie is full of wineries, great places to visit and lots of great food - what's not to like?
You are going to find it difficult when he comes as he adjusts to life in Oz - Yep just like he had to adjust to me making blunders through his culture in the four months I stayed with him last year.
I have to stay positive- its my only hope!
It was great to fly Air Pacific to Fiji for a change- instead of arriving tired and half starved on Virgin Blue, I actually got a nice meal, plenty of drinks,a friendly young couple for company and watched movies all the way.... I arrived in Nadi on time and noticed the boys with the ukele are no longer singing - a budgetary cutback no doubt and my transition through customs was seamless. I push my trolley to the ANZ ATM to extract a wad of cash and turn around to seek out the eyes of my beloved, and of course he is not there.
I buy a quick phone card to make a call, as I will never have International Roaming again ( $1600 phone bill) and hear his quiet dulcet tones saying " I am just getting off the bus".
We catch a taxi to Hotel San Bruno, cheap, cheerful and very quiet. My boy has grown very hairy and a beard is something new to adjust to. We take off to an Indian restaurant in Namaka for Tandoori prawns and duck curry.
I wake to the glorious heat and sunshine of Fiji only to fall in a complete heap. I stay lounging on my bed while Chita runs around on errands. I have had a coughing virus which has worn me out and its nice to hand over to someone else for a change. I eventually get dressed and we head off to Port Denarau for dinner. We sit at one of the cafes on the esplanade and enjoy sitting outdoors.
Sunday morning I had planned for us to catch a boat to Castaway to lounge around the pool with my brother and his family. Not to be. No bathers, sarong and thongs for me. We arrive early to find the booking station besieged and only one place to the island - Castaway only takes 15 day trippers a day. Buggar. I should have booked it yesterday but could not move. Instead Chita says 'Let's hire a car' Part of me wanted to say - no bloody way, I am too tired, its going to make me more tired, and we will be driving miles I know it" and then the soft side of me - I love this man, why don't I just give him what he wants' and therein lies my biggest mistake. Do not overide the I am too tired, and I really don't need this button. We head off to Satellite cars from whom I will never, ever, ever hire another car. I hired a car for the day last trip and had to beat them down on price and conditions. This time, it was way too expensive, no give, and the cost horrendous. I gave in. Why oh why?
We drove to Lautoka to drop off a photo to Chita's daughter Ranadi; who was not home. Let's drive down to Votua and I can show you the renovations to the shop and no one will see us, so we can escape again.
I knew it. An hour and a half later we hit Votua, have a look at the shop -which is going to be great. The building has been extended, the roof is being redone, the bathroom and toilet block concrete foundations have been laid and it looks like the plans developed by Fabi (an Italian friend) and Dege, her partner, have been well thought out.
I have time for a quick swim and we are off.
Please can we stop in Sigatoka?
Okay. As we drive around the roundabout, a van and car appear on our left and block our turn. I stop and Mr Grog in his fluoro green four wheel drive, goes right up the back of us. I step out, and there is a dent in the panel as well as a dent in the bumper bar.
No I didn't do anything. It was already there.
We had not had a condition report so I wasn't sure.
Chita, get out and have a look.
There is a dent, but its not your fault, don't worry about it.
I drove back to Nadi in an absolute lather, repeating over and over to myself why do I do these things when I don't have money in reserve to pay.
Sure enough the fine print states driver is responsible for all damages even if caused by another driver. Driver is also to pay up to $4,000 damage. Great.
I head off to the Satellite office for a fight and of course try madly to getout of it, but they have my credit card details and I have to pay. I manage to take a few hundred off the bill and then I realise that once I have paid that + the balance in cash - we have no holiday fund.
I was livid, pissed off, frothing at the mouth, and when the guy from Satellite dropped my off at our hotel, saying 'See you next time Amanda' I muttered 'Not bloody likely' and let the bomb drop on my relaxed boy lying on the bed watching tv.
I am never hiring a car again in Fiji. This is the last straw! It costs a fortune and now I have to pay damages for something I did not do. We are now officially skint so forget daytrips and romantic getaways - we have no money.
Will you have to go home?
What? Miss ever resourceful has got Chita's mobile phone out and quickly texting two friends who knew I was already scraping the bottom of the barrell to go, and had offered financial back up. Lucky I have good friends...
Lucky I had already paid for the accomdation in Suva at the Quest appartments for a week, and lucky I had already bought some food, so we were not destitute.
I am so over this half life we have in Fiji. I don't get the tropical holiday, I get living a city life with Chita in preparation for Oz and getting the visa organised - boring paperwork. I want real holidays with my man from here on in. I am so sick of being financially strapped. I am so sick of budgeting. I am so sick of this drain on my time, energy and resources. Give us the visa please...
Can we please move on from this half life to fun times in Oz in December.
I have all my family, friends and colleagues going - when's he coming? As if its tomorrow. 'Soon' is my reply. Everything moves so quickly here in Oz, no one can believe I have had to wait this bloody long, and the Department of Immigration could stretch it out until December, or refuse us, or ask for more information and delay us and then its the Migrant's tribunal with a migration barrister or get married and wait for a spouse visa - spend more money and wait all over again.... I hope this prospective spouse visa works. Fewer hurdles to overcome were the famous last words of my migration agent.... we shall see.
Anyhow I spent the rest of the day flat as you can imagine and thought" Come on, get over it, you only have a week with Chita- try and have fun!
Chita really likes the Quest appartments as it feels like we live in our own little world, our own little pad, and we live like a couple. He wakes up early and makes coffee. Then he runs off to get the papers. I make him a cooked breakast. We lounge about. Plan our day - a walk - a shop - a trip to the pictures $5 thank god and cheap as chips. He loves watching television and is a complete remote control freak.
We talk a lot about what we want to do and I am happy knowing Fabi and Dege are coming on board with the shop. We have put so much into it, and I have had a real issue dealing with the fact I can't be there to help make it grow into a real cafe. It tortures me, but I am the breadwinner at this stage and have no choice. Fabi and Dege had a guest house with no lease and have been kicked out after 5 years of renovating the place, so they needed a place to stay. We have negotiated in true island style, a place for them to live on the beach strip while they in return renovate the shop and make some additions. They are also going to build two bures - one for them and one for us - so Chita and I will have somewhere to stay when we visit and we can also rent it out to people passing by which will be good.
We had lunch with Fabi and Dege in Suva on the last Thursday and I suddenly discovered we were off to the accountant to sign an agreement and I had only seen it for five minutes and told Chita we needed to discuss it further. Avoidance is great in the Fijian male, especially when they know there is going to be an argument and they just want to keep the peace.
I was again volcanic but managed to keep it under control during the meeting. The agreement was okay. However, discussions of partnerships and setting up companies threw me, as I had not even had a chance to get my head around how the shop is going to managed while we are in Australia. My gut reaction is to lease the business to Fabi and Dege for two years with a review.... I don't want to spend any more serious money until I am ready to get his wood fired oven bakery off the ground.
I was in turmoil emotionally. I want so badly to be in Fiji and get this up and running but we don't have the money. I want to build a two bedroom shack so we can live a simple life and we don't have the money. I am constantly supporting the shop, saving up for this visa, and then spending any potential savings going back and forth to Fiji -it has been the most testing time of my life and I advise others to think carefully.
Of course I love him, and want to be with him. I have tried so hard to get a reasonably well paid job in Fiji but with the coup - no go. I have tried to get grants- but they are no go. Its not meant to be at this stage. Chita needs to come here, and learn about my life and develop a work ethic which will help grow the business in Fiji.
I know I always go for a challenge and the challenges won't stop when he gets here.
How is going to cope with the cold in Tassie? Don't know.
What kind of work does he want to do? I am hoping he will give anything a go.
What if he doesn't like it? He is coming here to get married to me - Tassie is full of wineries, great places to visit and lots of great food - what's not to like?
You are going to find it difficult when he comes as he adjusts to life in Oz - Yep just like he had to adjust to me making blunders through his culture in the four months I stayed with him last year.
I have to stay positive- its my only hope!
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Fiji in September!
I have managed a cheap direct flight from Hobart to Nadi online - Yippee! Air Pacific for a change. I am finding the Virgin Blue seats very narrow and had a bout of back pain last time I was coming back from Nadi to Sydney caused me to walk up and down the aisles for an hour or so.
I have become more adventurous recently in booking flights and accomodation online. I used Wotif.com for a week at Mana island in January which was great. I have used LastMinute.com to book four nights at the Quest appartments in Suva twice now. I used travel.com to book my flight to Fiji. Its all very interesting. I went to Air Pacific website and couldn't find a cheap deal, then through an online wholesaler I have done good. Its worth a try.
I told my brother that I can save him heaps next year if he wants a holiday on Castaway again - I can organise flights, accomodation,transfers, and a stay over night in Nadi - all online. Who needs a travel agent I say?
The only issue with booking online are the conditions for change. If you book with an airline, you have the opportunity to change with specific fares, with online bookings with wotif, last minute, Asia Hotels, Hotels.com etc there are charges to making a change. However, I saved myself money this trip, but more than that I saved time. I am leaving on Friday September 5th on an early flight to Sydney, and flying out at one o'clock on an afternoon flight to Nadi. Usually with Virgin Blue I have to fly to Sydney the night before, stay overnight somewhere, spend $100 in taxi fares, and leave for Nadi the next day; whereas this flight just leaves me sitting in Sydney airport reading a book or a magazine..... I am very happy.
I have also managed a free flight on frequent flyers - something I have never done before.
I have also organised 4 nights at the Quest Appartments in Suva, where Chita and I will behave like an old married couple. We go shopping for meals at the supermarket, have dinner together and watch tv or go to the movies...domestic bliss.
Its all turning out better than I had hoped.
I have had friends through this blogsite who have gone to Fiji and met Chita. He is always there with a smile, and happy to talk. I miss hanging out with him. I used to walk up to the shop every morning for a coffee, a chat, and breakfast if I was lucky. He makes great Fijian pancakes.
I love the heat, I miss that tropical vista which is always so beautiful and appealing. I miss being warm to my bones. Winter in Tassie is cold, and my body doesn't like it, as my physio can attest.
Chita decided to text me yesterday morning at 5.30 am and wake me up.... he knows I am not a morning person, whereas he is. He opens his eyes, leaps out of bed, checks on the weather for the day, has a shower immediately and then starts making coffee (one good thing I have taught him) while I usually roll over... I was lying in the dark waiting for the sun to rise, while he was sitting on the deck, full sunlight on a warm sunny day in Fiji, asking me questions about our holiday. He needs a day off, he told me - a sign of a lot of physically demanding hard work.
He has been extending the shop for the last couple of weeks. He is adding a room with a bathroom which I have been dreaming of, for about a couple of years.... so I can't wait to see his handywork. Last time I rang there were discussions about the toilet and shower - we want to minimise impact on the reef.
I rang him last night to tell him what I have organised for our short week in Fiji together, and he was lying in the hammock, with his bible, looking for strength. I am very proud of his dedication, determination and persistence.
A long distance relationship tests all your fears. I know he loves me. I know I love him. I used to wonder if he would be tempted by other women,but now I don't go there. Our relationship is built on trust.
I have seen the way some Fijian men behave, and I don't like it. Treat others the way you wish to be treated is my mantra. I think that working on creating a line of communication which bridged both our cultures, and gave us a way to talk to each other openly and honestly was the only way we were going to overcome continual cultural misunderstandings,and perceived bad behaviour from two cultures. I ignore village law, and he sometimes behaves like an Fijian male who does what he likes.... to be railed in and reprimanded occasionally. Its not easy. I sometimes find it hard to be calm. He used to walk off on me and come back four hours later, now the turn around is around 1-3 minutes. He still walks off, but calms himself down, and comes back in to talk.
I have had friends dying lately; I have had friends breaking up with their marriages and here we are dreaming of having a life together. It feels strange. I thought I would be married in my 20's it never happened. I could have married the first boy who asked me, but he has a bland palate and we would never have lasted. I could have married a Sicilian, but I would be living in a boring suburb of Milan, putting up with his awful family. Instead I am a grown up, wanting a life with a Fijian male, who is gentle, kind and loyal- something I could never have imagined...
But life is never dull for me. I face problems, most people don't, I am learning about another culture I knew little or nothing about. Its made me political. I was hoping the Rudd government would bring about serious changes to our migration policy but he has already excluded Fiji from the Pacific Seasonal workers scheme. I hate bureaucracy - six months to process a fiance visa!! Australia's reaction to the December coup 2006 was way out - it was not a violent coup. Considering how long we have been dealing with Fiji, you would think our goverment would understand the tribal nature influencing pacific governance and be a bit more tolerant. I am warming up to an article in one of the major papers on life in Fiji today.....
I have become more adventurous recently in booking flights and accomodation online. I used Wotif.com for a week at Mana island in January which was great. I have used LastMinute.com to book four nights at the Quest appartments in Suva twice now. I used travel.com to book my flight to Fiji. Its all very interesting. I went to Air Pacific website and couldn't find a cheap deal, then through an online wholesaler I have done good. Its worth a try.
I told my brother that I can save him heaps next year if he wants a holiday on Castaway again - I can organise flights, accomodation,transfers, and a stay over night in Nadi - all online. Who needs a travel agent I say?
The only issue with booking online are the conditions for change. If you book with an airline, you have the opportunity to change with specific fares, with online bookings with wotif, last minute, Asia Hotels, Hotels.com etc there are charges to making a change. However, I saved myself money this trip, but more than that I saved time. I am leaving on Friday September 5th on an early flight to Sydney, and flying out at one o'clock on an afternoon flight to Nadi. Usually with Virgin Blue I have to fly to Sydney the night before, stay overnight somewhere, spend $100 in taxi fares, and leave for Nadi the next day; whereas this flight just leaves me sitting in Sydney airport reading a book or a magazine..... I am very happy.
I have also managed a free flight on frequent flyers - something I have never done before.
I have also organised 4 nights at the Quest Appartments in Suva, where Chita and I will behave like an old married couple. We go shopping for meals at the supermarket, have dinner together and watch tv or go to the movies...domestic bliss.
Its all turning out better than I had hoped.
I have had friends through this blogsite who have gone to Fiji and met Chita. He is always there with a smile, and happy to talk. I miss hanging out with him. I used to walk up to the shop every morning for a coffee, a chat, and breakfast if I was lucky. He makes great Fijian pancakes.
I love the heat, I miss that tropical vista which is always so beautiful and appealing. I miss being warm to my bones. Winter in Tassie is cold, and my body doesn't like it, as my physio can attest.
Chita decided to text me yesterday morning at 5.30 am and wake me up.... he knows I am not a morning person, whereas he is. He opens his eyes, leaps out of bed, checks on the weather for the day, has a shower immediately and then starts making coffee (one good thing I have taught him) while I usually roll over... I was lying in the dark waiting for the sun to rise, while he was sitting on the deck, full sunlight on a warm sunny day in Fiji, asking me questions about our holiday. He needs a day off, he told me - a sign of a lot of physically demanding hard work.
He has been extending the shop for the last couple of weeks. He is adding a room with a bathroom which I have been dreaming of, for about a couple of years.... so I can't wait to see his handywork. Last time I rang there were discussions about the toilet and shower - we want to minimise impact on the reef.
I rang him last night to tell him what I have organised for our short week in Fiji together, and he was lying in the hammock, with his bible, looking for strength. I am very proud of his dedication, determination and persistence.
A long distance relationship tests all your fears. I know he loves me. I know I love him. I used to wonder if he would be tempted by other women,but now I don't go there. Our relationship is built on trust.
I have seen the way some Fijian men behave, and I don't like it. Treat others the way you wish to be treated is my mantra. I think that working on creating a line of communication which bridged both our cultures, and gave us a way to talk to each other openly and honestly was the only way we were going to overcome continual cultural misunderstandings,and perceived bad behaviour from two cultures. I ignore village law, and he sometimes behaves like an Fijian male who does what he likes.... to be railed in and reprimanded occasionally. Its not easy. I sometimes find it hard to be calm. He used to walk off on me and come back four hours later, now the turn around is around 1-3 minutes. He still walks off, but calms himself down, and comes back in to talk.
I have had friends dying lately; I have had friends breaking up with their marriages and here we are dreaming of having a life together. It feels strange. I thought I would be married in my 20's it never happened. I could have married the first boy who asked me, but he has a bland palate and we would never have lasted. I could have married a Sicilian, but I would be living in a boring suburb of Milan, putting up with his awful family. Instead I am a grown up, wanting a life with a Fijian male, who is gentle, kind and loyal- something I could never have imagined...
But life is never dull for me. I face problems, most people don't, I am learning about another culture I knew little or nothing about. Its made me political. I was hoping the Rudd government would bring about serious changes to our migration policy but he has already excluded Fiji from the Pacific Seasonal workers scheme. I hate bureaucracy - six months to process a fiance visa!! Australia's reaction to the December coup 2006 was way out - it was not a violent coup. Considering how long we have been dealing with Fiji, you would think our goverment would understand the tribal nature influencing pacific governance and be a bit more tolerant. I am warming up to an article in one of the major papers on life in Fiji today.....
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Good and Bad News!
I have been super optimistic lately, not fretting, not thinking negative thoughts. Chita has been up to Suva a few times to push his medical, x-ray and today his police clearance. It appears to be moving forward.
In my mind I had visualised his arrival as September/October and now I have a letter from the Department stating our visa will take 6 months so the interview date is, wait for it, the 9th of December 2008. Blimey. I knew it could take 4- 10 months so its exactly in between.
Part of me feels like going to Fiji and getting married, but that would upset the visa process and who knows how much longer we would have to wait....
I am philosophical about it, but I am also thinking, six months without seeing Chita. I don't think so. I have just forked out for an appartment, now have regular bills, and am trying to set up something for us here, and today I have been scrabbling around on the internet trying to find cheap fares from Hobart to Nadi and back. I have been working out my pay to see if I have enough money to go. Not really. Chita wants a holiday but no funds available.
Will he have the room on the shop built? Maybe, maybe not. A week at his mum's... will mean having to incorporate village festivities and responsibilities into our week and I don't want to.
Will wait for a miracle on wotif.com or lastminute.com.
Good news is that we have found a couple to look after the shop if Chita ever gets to Australia. An Italian friend of ours, who I had wanted to work with last year, has just lost her guest house - no lease, five years of renovation and maintenance and now the wily Indian owner wants to sell and she has no money to buy....
Business is very risky in Fiji.
Anyhow, I had discussed my wood fired oven idea- making our own bread, pizza and cakes and selling to passing traffic- and maybe it could just work. A contract is required I told Chita, and he agreed.
So much for us building a house in Fiji, working in Australia, travelling around Tassie together, and then further afield to Japan, where Chita lived off and on for three years, and back to Sicily for me.... in September 2009 would be nice.
Am applying for jobs, with a higher salary and more senior role to cope with this constant drain on my resources. At present I get to see my love, my partner, for 1-2 weeks every three months..... no wonder people give up... am I insane? am I enjoying this torture on some level? what am I getting out of it? not a lot at present....i know how African refugees feel. This is madness!
Our official letter requesting extra information was wrong - they had ticked the wrong boxes. I hope it is sent to Australia and processed here, otherwise with Fiji time, who knows how long it will take.... my patience is wearing thin...
In my mind I had visualised his arrival as September/October and now I have a letter from the Department stating our visa will take 6 months so the interview date is, wait for it, the 9th of December 2008. Blimey. I knew it could take 4- 10 months so its exactly in between.
Part of me feels like going to Fiji and getting married, but that would upset the visa process and who knows how much longer we would have to wait....
I am philosophical about it, but I am also thinking, six months without seeing Chita. I don't think so. I have just forked out for an appartment, now have regular bills, and am trying to set up something for us here, and today I have been scrabbling around on the internet trying to find cheap fares from Hobart to Nadi and back. I have been working out my pay to see if I have enough money to go. Not really. Chita wants a holiday but no funds available.
Will he have the room on the shop built? Maybe, maybe not. A week at his mum's... will mean having to incorporate village festivities and responsibilities into our week and I don't want to.
Will wait for a miracle on wotif.com or lastminute.com.
Good news is that we have found a couple to look after the shop if Chita ever gets to Australia. An Italian friend of ours, who I had wanted to work with last year, has just lost her guest house - no lease, five years of renovation and maintenance and now the wily Indian owner wants to sell and she has no money to buy....
Business is very risky in Fiji.
Anyhow, I had discussed my wood fired oven idea- making our own bread, pizza and cakes and selling to passing traffic- and maybe it could just work. A contract is required I told Chita, and he agreed.
So much for us building a house in Fiji, working in Australia, travelling around Tassie together, and then further afield to Japan, where Chita lived off and on for three years, and back to Sicily for me.... in September 2009 would be nice.
Am applying for jobs, with a higher salary and more senior role to cope with this constant drain on my resources. At present I get to see my love, my partner, for 1-2 weeks every three months..... no wonder people give up... am I insane? am I enjoying this torture on some level? what am I getting out of it? not a lot at present....i know how African refugees feel. This is madness!
Our official letter requesting extra information was wrong - they had ticked the wrong boxes. I hope it is sent to Australia and processed here, otherwise with Fiji time, who knows how long it will take.... my patience is wearing thin...
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
How to know if a Fijian man is married?
I have been getting heaps of emails, and chatting to women in much the same predicament as myself. We have all been mesmerised by the lush green tropical setting of Fiji, blue lagoons and white waves crashing on the fringes. Then along comes a sweet, gentle, smiling Fijian who is just so friendly. Yep I fell for it too.
How do you know if they are single? married? available? The only way I found out was by going and living in Chita's bure for six weeks. Every night and day I was surrounded by Fijian men; I met his family and European friends and I just sort of worked it out that he is free. There is no one else in his life.
Spending three months of the year apart, makes it hard. I sometimes do think - maybe he could be with someone else- then I ring him up and he is at the cafe, or walking along the road, or sitting with friends on a hillside nearby. I have to trust him.
Fiji is close to Australia. That is the trap. You can actually contemplate coming back and developing a friendship - if it was Madagascar you'd think, 'Oh well, I've met a great guy but this is never going to work'.
Let me tell you now, its not easy. Its bloody hard work. I spend three months of the year on my own. We talk a lot by phone. We share our two lives over the phone, but we do not have a life together. I have tried to get a job in Fiji but I cannot live on $20,000. Applying for this fiance visa has been a hard journey. It took me three months just to put the documents together. Then I had to hand over a huge amount of cash to an immigration agent.... then sit and wait.... a month to the day of our initial application, Chita receives a call from the Immigration department in Suva to come for a medical, x-ray and to obtain a police clearance. He tried to wake me at 6.30 am but I was of course dreaming of other things. He waited two hours until I woke up and eventually found his message then off he went.
Its a big deal - getting involved with someone from another culture. In Fijian culture everyone knows how to respond to different situations; its not verbalised; its internalised. Its difficult to sometimes know if you are making a big blunder or not - those smiling faces will never give it away.
Is he married? The only way to find out is to ask his friends and family.
If you marry a Fijian, you marry a clan, and a village. I am about to pay $100 for transport for the body of chita's cousin's grandmother because no one else can pay. Each clan is given a responsibility and as I am the only one working and earning we have to contribute.... that's the Fijian way..... If you are loaded you probably won't mind, but if you are middle of the road like me, every cent counts. I am busy setting up a flat for Chita and I to live in when he gets here.
It could be soon! September/October I am hoping....
I have bought a charcoal grey couch today, two cube book shelves and now I am scouting around for a small flat screen tv..... after that I will be saving to take my boy on a road trip around the apple isle....
Are you ready for all this??
I wasn't, but now I am in it up to my neck, I just keep trying to move forward.
Moce.
How do you know if they are single? married? available? The only way I found out was by going and living in Chita's bure for six weeks. Every night and day I was surrounded by Fijian men; I met his family and European friends and I just sort of worked it out that he is free. There is no one else in his life.
Spending three months of the year apart, makes it hard. I sometimes do think - maybe he could be with someone else- then I ring him up and he is at the cafe, or walking along the road, or sitting with friends on a hillside nearby. I have to trust him.
Fiji is close to Australia. That is the trap. You can actually contemplate coming back and developing a friendship - if it was Madagascar you'd think, 'Oh well, I've met a great guy but this is never going to work'.
Let me tell you now, its not easy. Its bloody hard work. I spend three months of the year on my own. We talk a lot by phone. We share our two lives over the phone, but we do not have a life together. I have tried to get a job in Fiji but I cannot live on $20,000. Applying for this fiance visa has been a hard journey. It took me three months just to put the documents together. Then I had to hand over a huge amount of cash to an immigration agent.... then sit and wait.... a month to the day of our initial application, Chita receives a call from the Immigration department in Suva to come for a medical, x-ray and to obtain a police clearance. He tried to wake me at 6.30 am but I was of course dreaming of other things. He waited two hours until I woke up and eventually found his message then off he went.
Its a big deal - getting involved with someone from another culture. In Fijian culture everyone knows how to respond to different situations; its not verbalised; its internalised. Its difficult to sometimes know if you are making a big blunder or not - those smiling faces will never give it away.
Is he married? The only way to find out is to ask his friends and family.
If you marry a Fijian, you marry a clan, and a village. I am about to pay $100 for transport for the body of chita's cousin's grandmother because no one else can pay. Each clan is given a responsibility and as I am the only one working and earning we have to contribute.... that's the Fijian way..... If you are loaded you probably won't mind, but if you are middle of the road like me, every cent counts. I am busy setting up a flat for Chita and I to live in when he gets here.
It could be soon! September/October I am hoping....
I have bought a charcoal grey couch today, two cube book shelves and now I am scouting around for a small flat screen tv..... after that I will be saving to take my boy on a road trip around the apple isle....
Are you ready for all this??
I wasn't, but now I am in it up to my neck, I just keep trying to move forward.
Moce.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Taste of the Tropics!
If you have read my profile, you will know I am a cook, and a bloody good one,if I do say so myself. I trained in Italy, and then went to college back in Australia and was immersed in the confining and restrictive techniques of French Cuisine.
Having been such a gypsy for the last twenty years; while everyone was marrying and having children, I was travelling. Everywhere I went, I found myself in a kitchen asking questions and either cooking with locals, or taking recipe ideas home with me and turning things into easy and impressive dishes.
When I first started training I was a zealot and the more complicated and difficult, and the more time it took, I was there- all the way. These days I prefer talking to friends rather than being stuck in a kitchen, so I come up with dishes that can be cooked and served quickly so I can sit at the table with a glass of wine and enjoy everyone's company.
I have put together a few menus lately, and thought I might share one or two of them.
Taste of the tropics - luncheon
Salt and pepper squid on a rocket and orange salad
Prawn curry - so easy you won't believe it
Tropical fruit tart with mascarpone
Salt and Pepper squid
For 4 people
I do it a little differently to the Asians.
2 large squid tubes or 4 small squid tubes frozen
salt and pepper
flour
Variation - paprika, chilli powder, onion powder, garlic powder
Lime wedges
Oli for frying
Deep fryer or heavy based small pot
Rocket and Orange salad
Mixed rocket and spinach leaves- washed
8-10 snow peas- finely sliced
1-2 oranges,peeled and cut into small segments
Snow pea sprouts - a handful
Dressing-
Lemon or lime juice with oil and 2 tsp sugar
I usually make individual salads and hold the dressing until the squid is cooked.
Slice the squid into really thin rings,wafer thin as possible. Pile them up.
On a plate or in a tray, put 1 cup plain flour, 6 tsp of salt, as much fresh pepper as you can grind.
Heat up a pot of oil, and quickly coat the squid in the mixture. It sounds like a lot of salt and it is, but each piece only gets a little bit.
Dip into hot oil, it will cook in seconds. Scoop the squid out onto a plate lined with paper towel and keep going. Pile squid ontop of salad and then drizzle dressing.
Serve at once.
Prawn curry
1 kg cooked large cooked or better yet uncooked prawns
1 bottle of Mrs Pataks Jalfreezi
400 gr rice
1 lime zest and juice
You can cook the rice in the microwave or a pot. A trick I learnt from a friend in the UK is to put the rice in a pot, cover with boiling water at least 2 cm above. I just guess. Cover with a lid and cook for 12 minutes. Take off the lid, remove from heat, cover with a teatowel and leave for 10 minutes before serving. I squeeze lime juice and sprinkle lime zest on top. EASY!
The prawn curry is too simple. Put garlic and oil into a skillet or frypan. Saute prawns and then throw in the sauce. Simmer until sauce thickens and serve.
Accompaniment -
steamed chinese broccoli with oyster sauce.
Steam the broccoli and drizzle oyster sauce - a cinch.
Dessert is more of an effort but not much.
Tropical fruit tart
1 packet of granita biscuits
125 gr butter melted
500 gr of mascarpone
zest of 1 orange
2 tblsp icing sugar
300 ml of whipped cream
tropical fruit of your choice- sliced and scattered on top - pineapple, mango, kiwi, star fruit,
1 tin of passionfruit pulp
To make the biscuit base- In a food processor blitz the biscuits to crumb. Mix with melted butter in a bowl and press into a lined springform tin. Chill in freezer for 10 minutes.
To make the orange mascarpone cream - In a food processor or a kitchen aid (I have wanted one for years...) whip the cream, mascarpone, icing sugar and orange zest together. Cover with orange mascarpone cream and decorate with fruit.
Finishing touch- in a small pan heat up the passionfruit pulp and add 1-2 tblsp caster sugar to thicken it. Sauce must coat the back of a spoon. Chill. Pour over the top of the fruit tart and serve chilled.
Watch it disappear in less than ten minutes as everyone initially asks for a small piece, and then ends up asking for more.
So cooking is my passion but I don't have a kitchen. Its ironical really, as I know heaps of people who have put in great kitchens in their homes but keep them sparkling and never cook. Why buy a smeg oven if you are only going to reheat??? I don't get it.
Here I am the happy wanderer who has cooked in kitchens, and in fact anywhere - even a portable barbecue plate on an outdoor fire in Fiji. I will hopefully one day have a home with a kitchen, and cook for friends as well as paying customers...
I believe in serving fresh food, and not doing too much with it...
Hope you enjoy my dishes.... they are too easy...
Vinaka na kana!
Having been such a gypsy for the last twenty years; while everyone was marrying and having children, I was travelling. Everywhere I went, I found myself in a kitchen asking questions and either cooking with locals, or taking recipe ideas home with me and turning things into easy and impressive dishes.
When I first started training I was a zealot and the more complicated and difficult, and the more time it took, I was there- all the way. These days I prefer talking to friends rather than being stuck in a kitchen, so I come up with dishes that can be cooked and served quickly so I can sit at the table with a glass of wine and enjoy everyone's company.
I have put together a few menus lately, and thought I might share one or two of them.
Taste of the tropics - luncheon
Salt and pepper squid on a rocket and orange salad
Prawn curry - so easy you won't believe it
Tropical fruit tart with mascarpone
Salt and Pepper squid
For 4 people
I do it a little differently to the Asians.
2 large squid tubes or 4 small squid tubes frozen
salt and pepper
flour
Variation - paprika, chilli powder, onion powder, garlic powder
Lime wedges
Oli for frying
Deep fryer or heavy based small pot
Rocket and Orange salad
Mixed rocket and spinach leaves- washed
8-10 snow peas- finely sliced
1-2 oranges,peeled and cut into small segments
Snow pea sprouts - a handful
Dressing-
Lemon or lime juice with oil and 2 tsp sugar
I usually make individual salads and hold the dressing until the squid is cooked.
Slice the squid into really thin rings,wafer thin as possible. Pile them up.
On a plate or in a tray, put 1 cup plain flour, 6 tsp of salt, as much fresh pepper as you can grind.
Heat up a pot of oil, and quickly coat the squid in the mixture. It sounds like a lot of salt and it is, but each piece only gets a little bit.
Dip into hot oil, it will cook in seconds. Scoop the squid out onto a plate lined with paper towel and keep going. Pile squid ontop of salad and then drizzle dressing.
Serve at once.
Prawn curry
1 kg cooked large cooked or better yet uncooked prawns
1 bottle of Mrs Pataks Jalfreezi
400 gr rice
1 lime zest and juice
You can cook the rice in the microwave or a pot. A trick I learnt from a friend in the UK is to put the rice in a pot, cover with boiling water at least 2 cm above. I just guess. Cover with a lid and cook for 12 minutes. Take off the lid, remove from heat, cover with a teatowel and leave for 10 minutes before serving. I squeeze lime juice and sprinkle lime zest on top. EASY!
The prawn curry is too simple. Put garlic and oil into a skillet or frypan. Saute prawns and then throw in the sauce. Simmer until sauce thickens and serve.
Accompaniment -
steamed chinese broccoli with oyster sauce.
Steam the broccoli and drizzle oyster sauce - a cinch.
Dessert is more of an effort but not much.
Tropical fruit tart
1 packet of granita biscuits
125 gr butter melted
500 gr of mascarpone
zest of 1 orange
2 tblsp icing sugar
300 ml of whipped cream
tropical fruit of your choice- sliced and scattered on top - pineapple, mango, kiwi, star fruit,
1 tin of passionfruit pulp
To make the biscuit base- In a food processor blitz the biscuits to crumb. Mix with melted butter in a bowl and press into a lined springform tin. Chill in freezer for 10 minutes.
To make the orange mascarpone cream - In a food processor or a kitchen aid (I have wanted one for years...) whip the cream, mascarpone, icing sugar and orange zest together. Cover with orange mascarpone cream and decorate with fruit.
Finishing touch- in a small pan heat up the passionfruit pulp and add 1-2 tblsp caster sugar to thicken it. Sauce must coat the back of a spoon. Chill. Pour over the top of the fruit tart and serve chilled.
Watch it disappear in less than ten minutes as everyone initially asks for a small piece, and then ends up asking for more.
So cooking is my passion but I don't have a kitchen. Its ironical really, as I know heaps of people who have put in great kitchens in their homes but keep them sparkling and never cook. Why buy a smeg oven if you are only going to reheat??? I don't get it.
Here I am the happy wanderer who has cooked in kitchens, and in fact anywhere - even a portable barbecue plate on an outdoor fire in Fiji. I will hopefully one day have a home with a kitchen, and cook for friends as well as paying customers...
I believe in serving fresh food, and not doing too much with it...
Hope you enjoy my dishes.... they are too easy...
Vinaka na kana!
Monday, July 07, 2008
My birthday wish!
Its been a while since I wrote mainly because being in Australia means working hard, continuously and feeling knackered at the end of the day. It was my birthday yesterday and my only wish is for Chita to get here. I am over living apart. Its been a struggle mentally and emotionally for me. I had a massage on Saturday afternoon and the masseur said to me that I had a struggle going on between my left side and my right. Its true. I am torn between being me, and being the working me, efficient, capable and exhausted.
Chita, the man who did not know how to use a mobile three years a go, shocked me on the weekend by ringing me, using free Vodaphone minutes. The fact that he even knew about free minutes, threw me, and then the fact that he actually picked up the phone to ring, blew me away.
His English is so formal on the phone. Well Amanda, I think we need to create an equal situation.
Yes we do.
I have been reluctant to ring the migration agent to find out where we stand in case I get another serve. I think he thinks I am going to go behind his back and put in all the information I have amassed on three and a half years with a Fijian, in business. I am sticking to his list...
However I got an email today saying that the visa has been submitted. I have bits missing which Chita is ready and a waiting to hand in.
What has been really interesting for me, as far as a long distance relationship goes, is knowing I am committed, and being a big picture person, anticipating the wait and not wanting to go through it, and now I am in it, its not too bad. The end for me is in sight. I have friends who recently married in Fiji and after four months she has brought her new husband to Australia.
Meanwhile Chita and I wait for me to pass as a responsible sponsor and he goes under the microscope to make sure he has no police record and no undesirable traits...
Interesting time...
I have never had to wait so long for something in my life. Its longer than Christmas...
Chita has been really vocal in stating how much he misses me.
He told me last Thursday when I rang him that he has been wandering around feeling empty and not wanting to do anything much.
So you love me, was my response.
Is that so was his reply. I have never felt like this before...
Special.
My birthday wish is for him to come to Oz, for us to live together, for him to get some knowledge about running a small business and for us to travel a bit, before committing to go back. I would like to build a beach shack up on the hill, and then attempt to run a business where keri keri- please please help me.... happens every other minute.
Chita has had enough. He is barely making $20-$50 a week and everyone thinks he is loaded...
Chita, the man who did not know how to use a mobile three years a go, shocked me on the weekend by ringing me, using free Vodaphone minutes. The fact that he even knew about free minutes, threw me, and then the fact that he actually picked up the phone to ring, blew me away.
His English is so formal on the phone. Well Amanda, I think we need to create an equal situation.
Yes we do.
I have been reluctant to ring the migration agent to find out where we stand in case I get another serve. I think he thinks I am going to go behind his back and put in all the information I have amassed on three and a half years with a Fijian, in business. I am sticking to his list...
However I got an email today saying that the visa has been submitted. I have bits missing which Chita is ready and a waiting to hand in.
What has been really interesting for me, as far as a long distance relationship goes, is knowing I am committed, and being a big picture person, anticipating the wait and not wanting to go through it, and now I am in it, its not too bad. The end for me is in sight. I have friends who recently married in Fiji and after four months she has brought her new husband to Australia.
Meanwhile Chita and I wait for me to pass as a responsible sponsor and he goes under the microscope to make sure he has no police record and no undesirable traits...
Interesting time...
I have never had to wait so long for something in my life. Its longer than Christmas...
Chita has been really vocal in stating how much he misses me.
He told me last Thursday when I rang him that he has been wandering around feeling empty and not wanting to do anything much.
So you love me, was my response.
Is that so was his reply. I have never felt like this before...
Special.
My birthday wish is for him to come to Oz, for us to live together, for him to get some knowledge about running a small business and for us to travel a bit, before committing to go back. I would like to build a beach shack up on the hill, and then attempt to run a business where keri keri- please please help me.... happens every other minute.
Chita has had enough. He is barely making $20-$50 a week and everyone thinks he is loaded...
Sunday, June 22, 2008
International interfamilial intercultural dilema solving
Thank you to a generous offer from Linda, an American I think. I have been so busy writing blogs I have not had time to read all the comments. Can not contact you as I have no email address to respond to- you are marked as anonymous. Please email me when you get a chance.
Have just arrived back after two weeks with my beloved. We spent two weeks - one in Nadi and one in Suva, with me getting him used to what it will be like when we live together. The first place I chose was a resort full of backpackers and as we are not in that 20's age group we did not lounge around the pool. Chita hates swimming other than for fishing purposes anyway.
Any thought of a romantic stroll down the beach at sunset- a western concept has to be taught
Look, what a beautiful sunset darling!
Yes, replies Fijian male.
Now you need to put your arms around me and kiss me.
Why?
This is called a romantic moment.
Okay, but only if no one is looking....
It was nice to be alone and get used to being intimate with each other. I am talking holding hands, and just playing around. Fijian culture does not allow affection in public, so its also something that Fijian males have to get used to.
To wake him up one afternoon I gently stroked his back. He did not open his eyes to respond, as he said to me later ' No one has ever done that to me before and I really liked it'.
We also cooked dinner at least 2-3 nights in Suva. Chita is great at food preparation, and really enjoyed discussing with me what we could eat for dinner. I would shop and he would prepare. Then I would cook and he would clean up! Perfect for me. He also liked sitting at a table and talking over dinner - whereas back in the village, food is laid out on a long cloth, people come and go, and when you have finished your food, you can up and leave..... I am holding firm on eating together at the same time and talking during dinner. A whole new concept.
We also dined at a few different restaurants. He and I went to a great Indian in Nadi, where you ordered a tray filled with tandoori prawns or duck curry, with accompaniments, rice and roti. We also ended up at the Outer Reef Cafe in Namaka, which I would recommend to anyone visiting Namaka. It did not look much from the outside, so I walked down a long corridor and we emerged into a garden full of lights with a band and lots of friendly, smiling staff. Yes.... I ordered garlic prawns with a baby leaf salad - yes it is possible, and Chita had a kaiviti fish basket which was full of crumbed and battered fish. I should have ordered grilled for my boy.
Fijians have a tendency to run into people, and join them for whatever they are doing in that moment. In fact Fijians live in the here and now, so they get caught up in whatever happens. I arrange to meet Chita at the MH supermarket where I am purchasing ingredients for dinner. Ten, fifteen, twenty minutes pass and he has not turned up. He has the card to enter our room. I am pissed off. I lug the shopping back, arrange for one of the boys in the front office to let me into our room and then search around for a phone card so I can ring him.
Where are you?
I am with friends?
What are you doing?
I just ran into someone and they asked me to come for a ride. I will be back at 6 pm.
Why didn't you come back and tell me that instead of leaving me standing outside the supermarket in the rain for half an hour.
You are a big girl Amanda, you can figure this out. You know where we are staying, stop being a baby....
I fumed for an hour and when he returned unleashed the beast.
In my culture, not telling someone where you are going is rude.
Not telling me what you wanted to do - is rude.
Leaving me standing at the MH in the rain - is rude.
He storms off. However, he cannot go far, as we have a room with adjoining balcony and he is looking down on Suva town from six stories up.
Chita you can't keep doing this to me.
I am sorry.
Its a bit hard to get into the routine of telling me everything when I am not around for three to four months at a time and he does whatever he wants, whenever he wants...
However, I have to get him used to deadlines and being punctual. Its obligatory in my culture, although working in horticulture and landscaping, things might be a bit more relaxed.
The last night we were together in Nadi at Smugglers. He goes for a run down the beach and I go for a walk. We meet up in the middle.
Did you see those guys with the net going fishing, I would like to go back and spend some time with them.
No problem.
I better have a shower first.
He heads back to the room, showers, changes into mozzie proof clothes, long pants and a checked shirt.
I watch a polynesian show on the balcony while he goes fishing with the boys.
I will be back in time for dinner he says.
I wait, and I wait and I wait. The show finishes at 8 pm and at 8.30 pm I am getting tetchy as that is our dinner time. At 8.50 pm I walk out of the resort, passing a Staff member Ratu and say
If you see Chita, tell him I am at the Horizon's backpacker having dinner by myself.
he grins at me, and says 'of course'.
At 9.10 pm I see my tall, gangly boy outside the restaurant door.
Bad choice Chita.
Amanda what is wrong?
He has no sense of occasion and how girls need to feel on their last night.
You said you were coming back to have dinner. You left at 7 and come back two hours later. Its not on Chita. I am not spending my life sitting around and waiting for you all the time.
Amanda I went into the resort, and I was running around asking everyone where you had gone.
Did you ask Ratu?
He didn't tell me until I had spent ten minutes running around. He was laughing hard.
Do you get it Chita?
Yes.
I know I am a hard woman. However I am a cook, a generous hostess, and a lover of good food and wine. Wining and dining is my supreme pleasure, and I couldn't handle being back in Tassie waiting and waiting for my Fijian boy to arrive. For me, its disrespectful to the chef or person cooking for us, to be late....
Its my one strong code of conduct.....
Why Oh whY did I pick a Fijian to fall in love with.
Have just arrived back after two weeks with my beloved. We spent two weeks - one in Nadi and one in Suva, with me getting him used to what it will be like when we live together. The first place I chose was a resort full of backpackers and as we are not in that 20's age group we did not lounge around the pool. Chita hates swimming other than for fishing purposes anyway.
Any thought of a romantic stroll down the beach at sunset- a western concept has to be taught
Look, what a beautiful sunset darling!
Yes, replies Fijian male.
Now you need to put your arms around me and kiss me.
Why?
This is called a romantic moment.
Okay, but only if no one is looking....
It was nice to be alone and get used to being intimate with each other. I am talking holding hands, and just playing around. Fijian culture does not allow affection in public, so its also something that Fijian males have to get used to.
To wake him up one afternoon I gently stroked his back. He did not open his eyes to respond, as he said to me later ' No one has ever done that to me before and I really liked it'.
We also cooked dinner at least 2-3 nights in Suva. Chita is great at food preparation, and really enjoyed discussing with me what we could eat for dinner. I would shop and he would prepare. Then I would cook and he would clean up! Perfect for me. He also liked sitting at a table and talking over dinner - whereas back in the village, food is laid out on a long cloth, people come and go, and when you have finished your food, you can up and leave..... I am holding firm on eating together at the same time and talking during dinner. A whole new concept.
We also dined at a few different restaurants. He and I went to a great Indian in Nadi, where you ordered a tray filled with tandoori prawns or duck curry, with accompaniments, rice and roti. We also ended up at the Outer Reef Cafe in Namaka, which I would recommend to anyone visiting Namaka. It did not look much from the outside, so I walked down a long corridor and we emerged into a garden full of lights with a band and lots of friendly, smiling staff. Yes.... I ordered garlic prawns with a baby leaf salad - yes it is possible, and Chita had a kaiviti fish basket which was full of crumbed and battered fish. I should have ordered grilled for my boy.
Fijians have a tendency to run into people, and join them for whatever they are doing in that moment. In fact Fijians live in the here and now, so they get caught up in whatever happens. I arrange to meet Chita at the MH supermarket where I am purchasing ingredients for dinner. Ten, fifteen, twenty minutes pass and he has not turned up. He has the card to enter our room. I am pissed off. I lug the shopping back, arrange for one of the boys in the front office to let me into our room and then search around for a phone card so I can ring him.
Where are you?
I am with friends?
What are you doing?
I just ran into someone and they asked me to come for a ride. I will be back at 6 pm.
Why didn't you come back and tell me that instead of leaving me standing outside the supermarket in the rain for half an hour.
You are a big girl Amanda, you can figure this out. You know where we are staying, stop being a baby....
I fumed for an hour and when he returned unleashed the beast.
In my culture, not telling someone where you are going is rude.
Not telling me what you wanted to do - is rude.
Leaving me standing at the MH in the rain - is rude.
He storms off. However, he cannot go far, as we have a room with adjoining balcony and he is looking down on Suva town from six stories up.
Chita you can't keep doing this to me.
I am sorry.
Its a bit hard to get into the routine of telling me everything when I am not around for three to four months at a time and he does whatever he wants, whenever he wants...
However, I have to get him used to deadlines and being punctual. Its obligatory in my culture, although working in horticulture and landscaping, things might be a bit more relaxed.
The last night we were together in Nadi at Smugglers. He goes for a run down the beach and I go for a walk. We meet up in the middle.
Did you see those guys with the net going fishing, I would like to go back and spend some time with them.
No problem.
I better have a shower first.
He heads back to the room, showers, changes into mozzie proof clothes, long pants and a checked shirt.
I watch a polynesian show on the balcony while he goes fishing with the boys.
I will be back in time for dinner he says.
I wait, and I wait and I wait. The show finishes at 8 pm and at 8.30 pm I am getting tetchy as that is our dinner time. At 8.50 pm I walk out of the resort, passing a Staff member Ratu and say
If you see Chita, tell him I am at the Horizon's backpacker having dinner by myself.
he grins at me, and says 'of course'.
At 9.10 pm I see my tall, gangly boy outside the restaurant door.
Bad choice Chita.
Amanda what is wrong?
He has no sense of occasion and how girls need to feel on their last night.
You said you were coming back to have dinner. You left at 7 and come back two hours later. Its not on Chita. I am not spending my life sitting around and waiting for you all the time.
Amanda I went into the resort, and I was running around asking everyone where you had gone.
Did you ask Ratu?
He didn't tell me until I had spent ten minutes running around. He was laughing hard.
Do you get it Chita?
Yes.
I know I am a hard woman. However I am a cook, a generous hostess, and a lover of good food and wine. Wining and dining is my supreme pleasure, and I couldn't handle being back in Tassie waiting and waiting for my Fijian boy to arrive. For me, its disrespectful to the chef or person cooking for us, to be late....
Its my one strong code of conduct.....
Why Oh whY did I pick a Fijian to fall in love with.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Fijian funerals, food and the sting in my tail!
I arrived in Fiji to sunshine and a week booked at the Smugglers Cove resort, supposedly new, but has been open since 2004. I was really tired our first night and nearly fell asleep during dinner. I woke up the next day and felt dreadful- a Fijian flu coming on. I passed out for a day or two, while my disappearing boyfriend went back to the vilage to submit his view on how the village soli should be spent. I recovered enough for another dinner and then found myself wiped out for a week, so much for cuddles, closeness and hot sex!
We kept waiting to hear the date of Simon's funeral and I told Chita we had to be there. So last Thursday we caught a van back to Votua, and I booked us a room at Vilisite's restaurant in room 3. The last time we saw Simon he had stayed there and I remember him sitting outside the room, sitting on the day bed with a guitar in hand and crooning. I then looked in my wardrobe to find something black to wear. Only a black zip top and a purple sulu I had bought spontaneously.
I had rung Vilisite's and was told there was a room,but of course it was double booked.
Grey clouds, and rain were not what I expected so Chita ran off to ask Dege if we could stay at his house on the hill in Korolevu for a night. Yes, no problem. I threw my paltry effort at funeral garb together, while Simon's kids who were also staying there scrubbed up into black gear for the girls and black sulus and crisp white shirts for his strapping sons. Dege dropped us off at Vilisites while he and Chita disappeared to prepare the funeral.
I had asked Chita what a Fijian funeral was all about, and as usual the master of the understatement had responded with 'well there will be a ceremony'.
When?
Between 3- 4 pm.
Okay. I joined Simon's first wife Donna and her partner, Sam, and two of the girlfriends to wait for the hearse to arrive from Suva. Simon had died on Friday and Fijians are usually buried quickly as the body tends to swell. Lora had found out she could get him embalmed for $150 so he would last three days and maybe up to three weeks.Simon's last wish was to be buried beside his father in his village of Namose in the interior. Usually family decides so Lora had a battle on her hands to convince them all. Luke the eldest son presented a savusavu to the elders, and then passed over the discussion to Lora. Usually the wife sits at home and waits for family and friends to come and share their condolences, but not kavalagi Lora. She was rushing off the day of the funeral to get a huge kava bowl to use for visitors. She picked the coffin and the hearse and got him embalmed. Unheard of.
We received a phone call saying the hearse had arrived. We stepped through the puddles and continuing rain to enter Watson and Asela's house. I found a wall to lean against as I cannot sit crosslegged for long, and then waited for the ceremony to begin. What I was not prepared for is how the family respond to the death. His sisters who range from 50 - 75 come forward on hands and knees to the coffin and start crying, screaming, wailing and falling onto the coffin. They all take turns to 'let it all out' as Chita describes it.
There were a group of Australian men who were seated on a bench at the back and I could see their surprise. We all had tears in our eyes. However, what I was not prepared for was that there was a glass window in the top of the coffin so everyone can take one last look. I couldn't. I froze. I didn't want to see a stiff.
An hour and a half later the ceremony finally begins and I have already changed sitting position a dozen times- this was going to be an ordeal. The ceremony was quite simple - testimonials from Luke, Simon's eldest son who kept it simple and told us all to remember two things about his dad; a clan member, an old man who cried and gave a heart felt speech in Fijian. Lora gave a great eulogy and when Simon's three sons and daughters moved towards the coffin; that's when I lost it. I was moved.
The local church choir held us all together by singing eloquent and uplifting hymns in Fijian.
My only sore point of the day, was the preacher. Simon did not go to church so despite being a good man, Lora's eulogy was wiped out by the fact that we are all sinners and will go to hell. Even if we are good and lead a good life, God is the way. I was quietly simmering...
I had to stand up for the final hymn and wondered if I could bend my creaky bones. I then discovered I had to sit down again and listen to another hymn before I could stand up, and go outside.
Chita was manning the lovo outside. He didn't want to come in. He was too sad. He and I both agreed we didn't want to look in the coffin.
I went back inside to discover that the coffin had been moved back, a band was set up in a seated position and 'Candle in the wind' was playing. At the back of the room, were the ladies with a table set up and bain maries full of curry, tomato chicken, and beef chopsuey. Special guests were offered prawns and lobster. We sat all together and shared our last meal with Simon. I lasted until about 9.30 and then my back was killing me.
I said goodbye to Chita as he was going to join the funeral party the next morning at around 4 am and transport Simon to the far side - Namose. I was exhausted, coughing my lungs up and needing to be horizontal. I have been to Melita, the closest village to Namose and that is just achievable. A hike through the mountains, along a ridge, knee deep in mud for one and a half hours, was not on my agenda. Chita did it for us both.
The coffin was put in a truck and taken to Navua, then onto a long boat up the Navua river for a couple of hours. The coffin and guests all rested at Melita before the climb. Chita told me what an amazing sight it was to watch groups of strong Fijian men running with the coffin up the mountain. The slow walkers left before them and turned around to see rotating groups of men, taking the coffin, strapped to a bamboo stretcher up a mountain in thick, sucking mud. Once in Namose, there was another ceremony and Simon was buried. Chita looked in the glass, and noticed Simon's head was flung back, after his jog up the mountain... he knew how hard it is to get to Namose, but he wanted everyone to do it, and remember him. They will never forget that journey.
Two Fijian kids had got lost on the way up. There is no road, only a sort of track, and they had ended up going around in circles. One of the girls had broken a branch and in two hours they kept coming back to the branch. Chita and Dege, went looking for them and found an arrow in a mud bank along the river, followed that for a couple of hours and found them and brought them back to Melita.
Chita said that when he got back to Navua, every muscle in his body was trembling. Lora had collapsed on the mountain after a week of funeral preparations, grief and no sleep. A group of four Fijians carried her down.
Wish I could have seen it all- what an awesome adventure (Simon's words).
I contributed my part to the funeral last night by cooking dinner for Lora and her daughter Rebecca in Suva. We heard some hilarious stories from Lora and listened to her grieve.
This morning my love disappears yet again and I am left to check my bank account to see if the visa payment has come out of my credit card account- no. I decide to ring John the agent and yet again find myself in a conversation with a short man who gives no reasonable explanation as to why the visa has not been lodged. I have sent emails stating what documents I am collecting to add to the visa lodgement, and no reply. He appeared not to have read any of my emails, so either his wife is the only one who does, or he is incompetent. However, he brow beat me yet again saying, I have been doing this job for a long time. A few days won't matter. I am so frustrated. No lodgement, no payment, no reference code so I can submit the remaining documents.
What does this man do for his money?
I did not even walk away from the phone with a day, and time of lodgement ......
God give me strength!
We kept waiting to hear the date of Simon's funeral and I told Chita we had to be there. So last Thursday we caught a van back to Votua, and I booked us a room at Vilisite's restaurant in room 3. The last time we saw Simon he had stayed there and I remember him sitting outside the room, sitting on the day bed with a guitar in hand and crooning. I then looked in my wardrobe to find something black to wear. Only a black zip top and a purple sulu I had bought spontaneously.
I had rung Vilisite's and was told there was a room,but of course it was double booked.
Grey clouds, and rain were not what I expected so Chita ran off to ask Dege if we could stay at his house on the hill in Korolevu for a night. Yes, no problem. I threw my paltry effort at funeral garb together, while Simon's kids who were also staying there scrubbed up into black gear for the girls and black sulus and crisp white shirts for his strapping sons. Dege dropped us off at Vilisites while he and Chita disappeared to prepare the funeral.
I had asked Chita what a Fijian funeral was all about, and as usual the master of the understatement had responded with 'well there will be a ceremony'.
When?
Between 3- 4 pm.
Okay. I joined Simon's first wife Donna and her partner, Sam, and two of the girlfriends to wait for the hearse to arrive from Suva. Simon had died on Friday and Fijians are usually buried quickly as the body tends to swell. Lora had found out she could get him embalmed for $150 so he would last three days and maybe up to three weeks.Simon's last wish was to be buried beside his father in his village of Namose in the interior. Usually family decides so Lora had a battle on her hands to convince them all. Luke the eldest son presented a savusavu to the elders, and then passed over the discussion to Lora. Usually the wife sits at home and waits for family and friends to come and share their condolences, but not kavalagi Lora. She was rushing off the day of the funeral to get a huge kava bowl to use for visitors. She picked the coffin and the hearse and got him embalmed. Unheard of.
We received a phone call saying the hearse had arrived. We stepped through the puddles and continuing rain to enter Watson and Asela's house. I found a wall to lean against as I cannot sit crosslegged for long, and then waited for the ceremony to begin. What I was not prepared for is how the family respond to the death. His sisters who range from 50 - 75 come forward on hands and knees to the coffin and start crying, screaming, wailing and falling onto the coffin. They all take turns to 'let it all out' as Chita describes it.
There were a group of Australian men who were seated on a bench at the back and I could see their surprise. We all had tears in our eyes. However, what I was not prepared for was that there was a glass window in the top of the coffin so everyone can take one last look. I couldn't. I froze. I didn't want to see a stiff.
An hour and a half later the ceremony finally begins and I have already changed sitting position a dozen times- this was going to be an ordeal. The ceremony was quite simple - testimonials from Luke, Simon's eldest son who kept it simple and told us all to remember two things about his dad; a clan member, an old man who cried and gave a heart felt speech in Fijian. Lora gave a great eulogy and when Simon's three sons and daughters moved towards the coffin; that's when I lost it. I was moved.
The local church choir held us all together by singing eloquent and uplifting hymns in Fijian.
My only sore point of the day, was the preacher. Simon did not go to church so despite being a good man, Lora's eulogy was wiped out by the fact that we are all sinners and will go to hell. Even if we are good and lead a good life, God is the way. I was quietly simmering...
I had to stand up for the final hymn and wondered if I could bend my creaky bones. I then discovered I had to sit down again and listen to another hymn before I could stand up, and go outside.
Chita was manning the lovo outside. He didn't want to come in. He was too sad. He and I both agreed we didn't want to look in the coffin.
I went back inside to discover that the coffin had been moved back, a band was set up in a seated position and 'Candle in the wind' was playing. At the back of the room, were the ladies with a table set up and bain maries full of curry, tomato chicken, and beef chopsuey. Special guests were offered prawns and lobster. We sat all together and shared our last meal with Simon. I lasted until about 9.30 and then my back was killing me.
I said goodbye to Chita as he was going to join the funeral party the next morning at around 4 am and transport Simon to the far side - Namose. I was exhausted, coughing my lungs up and needing to be horizontal. I have been to Melita, the closest village to Namose and that is just achievable. A hike through the mountains, along a ridge, knee deep in mud for one and a half hours, was not on my agenda. Chita did it for us both.
The coffin was put in a truck and taken to Navua, then onto a long boat up the Navua river for a couple of hours. The coffin and guests all rested at Melita before the climb. Chita told me what an amazing sight it was to watch groups of strong Fijian men running with the coffin up the mountain. The slow walkers left before them and turned around to see rotating groups of men, taking the coffin, strapped to a bamboo stretcher up a mountain in thick, sucking mud. Once in Namose, there was another ceremony and Simon was buried. Chita looked in the glass, and noticed Simon's head was flung back, after his jog up the mountain... he knew how hard it is to get to Namose, but he wanted everyone to do it, and remember him. They will never forget that journey.
Two Fijian kids had got lost on the way up. There is no road, only a sort of track, and they had ended up going around in circles. One of the girls had broken a branch and in two hours they kept coming back to the branch. Chita and Dege, went looking for them and found an arrow in a mud bank along the river, followed that for a couple of hours and found them and brought them back to Melita.
Chita said that when he got back to Navua, every muscle in his body was trembling. Lora had collapsed on the mountain after a week of funeral preparations, grief and no sleep. A group of four Fijians carried her down.
Wish I could have seen it all- what an awesome adventure (Simon's words).
I contributed my part to the funeral last night by cooking dinner for Lora and her daughter Rebecca in Suva. We heard some hilarious stories from Lora and listened to her grieve.
This morning my love disappears yet again and I am left to check my bank account to see if the visa payment has come out of my credit card account- no. I decide to ring John the agent and yet again find myself in a conversation with a short man who gives no reasonable explanation as to why the visa has not been lodged. I have sent emails stating what documents I am collecting to add to the visa lodgement, and no reply. He appeared not to have read any of my emails, so either his wife is the only one who does, or he is incompetent. However, he brow beat me yet again saying, I have been doing this job for a long time. A few days won't matter. I am so frustrated. No lodgement, no payment, no reference code so I can submit the remaining documents.
What does this man do for his money?
I did not even walk away from the phone with a day, and time of lodgement ......
God give me strength!
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Births, deaths and accidents!
I have waited four months to come to Fiji, bringing the last of the paperwork so we can submit a prospective spouse visa. I had engaged an immigration agent in Melbourne, who somehow was constantly offended by me asking questions. I was having great difficulty discussing anything with him so on my one and only visit to see him in Melbourne I took support. He kept trying to interrupt me, wouldn't listen and I have eventually figured out, that I was supposed to let him handle it all, with no discussion and no questions asked. Saving the $2,500 for the agent has been a challenge and then not being able to talk has been extremely frustrating. I had put together too much information; in fact enough information for a spouse visa. I had spent three months collecting information and cajoling my reluctant family to sign letters and to attach certified pages of their passports.
My opening question to my agent was:
If the Australian High commission does close, and the Australian employees return to Australia, what will happen to our application?
I dont' know.
Not a very encouraging response. I have been pissed off because I know he hasn't read our paperwork, and yet I had paid the initial installment of $1250 and he was asking for complete payment before the application was lodged...... I am in the wrong job. The fact that every time I called he fobbed me off, couldn't answer me straight, was not ready with my application when I went to Melbourne, just showed that he hadn't done his job..... I was furious but contained.
He is supposedly sending it this week. I know who has done all the work; his long suffering wife. I sent an email of enquiry today to nudge him along and also to see if anything has happened. I have passport photos and a couple of letters to add to the application, which I need to submit next week while Chita and I are in Suva.
Anyhow, I have been in Nadi since Saturday staying at the Smugglers Cove resort; apparently a new resort according to Wotif.com but opened in 2003 apparently. The room is great but the tv doesn't work. How strange! I asked if it would be fixed on Sunday. No the security guard isn't here yet. He arrives and tells Chita that there is something wrong with the dish. Monday, I ask again - Oh yes the electrician will be here at 5 pm if it doesn't improve give us a call. Another night with black and white flickering images.
Last night Chita and I lay in bed listening to the radio and singing to each other a range of songs from Kenny Rogers, to Crowded House to sappy love songs. Chita knows all the words.
At the airport Chita asked me:
Have you talked to Lora yet?
No why?
Simon is dead.
Just like that, one of the most handsome, gentle, loving, caring and YOUNG Australian Fijian men that I know is gone. I was in shock.
How?
Heart failure I think.
I spent the weekend thinking about this man who had been so encouraging to Chita and me during our early courtship - Amanda, you just need to keep talking, and then you both will work it out- to telling Chita, when we opened the cafe - I am so proud of you Chita. Keep going!
I keep thinking about the first time I met him. He was walking along the beach with a fish, and a big smile.
Hey you must be Simon!
Yes and you are Amanda Chita's girlfriend.
Yes the bush telegraph is fast here. You always meet someone and figure out how they are related to you.
Chita and I have stayed a few times at Vilisite's, Simon's older sister's bungalows over the years. Simon would always be there, sitting outside with his guitar, and a big slow smile.
I remember being invited to a reunion he organised between two sides of his family. It was a great day. I hopped on a bus to Natandola beach and we stepped off into the village, and were swept into houses for morning tea, a church service, a walk and paddle along the beach before a huge lovo lunch. Then singing, dancing and lots of powder if I remember rightly. I was left clean as I took heaps of pictures.
I remember accompanying Simon and his family to the Sigatoka hospital to donate a wheelchair.
I remember the last time I saw Simon, I was invited to sing with Victor and Simon at Vilisite's restaurant. We started at 1.30 and sang the day away. I loved it. I have a tendency to improvise a little and was driving Simon nuts with my deviations. Victor, kept saying - don't worry about her, keep on playing...
I will miss him. He was too young. Not even 50. He had so much to give. He had just spent the last couple of years, setting up a portable saw mill business which would benefit the villages and had only received his first pay check a couple of weeks a go.
I can't believe he is gone. Chita and I are going back to the village tomorrow. There will be a ceremony at Naibale, and his body will be laid out for one night, then Friday, they will take his body by boat up river to his village in the interior. It was raining a lot yesterday so we are hoping it will stop so that they can get him to his last resting place. His partner Lora is here, in Suva today, talking business, all his kids, and even his ex-wife is here to honour him.
Death brings all together to remember. I have to be there tomorrow, and remember a good friend.
Over this weekend, heaps of accidents have occurred. Tamo and John (who was last looking clean and a member of AA) got drunk and swung at each other. Phylis' canoe now has a big hole in it.
A group of Votuan boys hired a car and went for a joy ride. They got drunk, rolled it, and it lit up like a torch. One of the boys is now in hospital in Suva with both his legs gone. Such a waste. Such carelessness....
Yesterday Chita heard on the news that a van had crashed trying to avoid a horse near Maui Bay. On that bus was an Indian guy going to Suva, to submit a visa to visit a sick aunt in hospital, who died. What wasn't mentioned was that one of Chita's cousins Marco, was on the bus, and is lying in Lautoka hospital with both hands and both legs amputated below the knee.
The front page of the Fiji Times today is all about the needless waste of life in Fiji with deaths, paraplegia, loss of limbs and fractures. A shocking statistic delivered matter of factly in the paper was the high number of children under six years of age who are killed on the road...
I have been talking to Chita about all our friends and had to ask what had happened to Kalara. the party girl. Its finally happened. She is pregnant to a married man and is in the village. So much for travelling to Australia and getting a good job.
I am here in Fiji after a long absence of four months. In this beautiful paradise, senseless things are happening. Its a time to reflect. I will try and live each day to the full. I will try to accept uncertainty as a part of my life, I will believe that our visa will happen, Chita and I are going to get a chance to have a life together which will span Fiji and Australia, and if I have my way, a trip back to Sicily next year.
I will try to quel my constant doubts; drown out the critic in my head, with singing and enjoy the next two weeks with the man who makes me happy.
My opening question to my agent was:
If the Australian High commission does close, and the Australian employees return to Australia, what will happen to our application?
I dont' know.
Not a very encouraging response. I have been pissed off because I know he hasn't read our paperwork, and yet I had paid the initial installment of $1250 and he was asking for complete payment before the application was lodged...... I am in the wrong job. The fact that every time I called he fobbed me off, couldn't answer me straight, was not ready with my application when I went to Melbourne, just showed that he hadn't done his job..... I was furious but contained.
He is supposedly sending it this week. I know who has done all the work; his long suffering wife. I sent an email of enquiry today to nudge him along and also to see if anything has happened. I have passport photos and a couple of letters to add to the application, which I need to submit next week while Chita and I are in Suva.
Anyhow, I have been in Nadi since Saturday staying at the Smugglers Cove resort; apparently a new resort according to Wotif.com but opened in 2003 apparently. The room is great but the tv doesn't work. How strange! I asked if it would be fixed on Sunday. No the security guard isn't here yet. He arrives and tells Chita that there is something wrong with the dish. Monday, I ask again - Oh yes the electrician will be here at 5 pm if it doesn't improve give us a call. Another night with black and white flickering images.
Last night Chita and I lay in bed listening to the radio and singing to each other a range of songs from Kenny Rogers, to Crowded House to sappy love songs. Chita knows all the words.
At the airport Chita asked me:
Have you talked to Lora yet?
No why?
Simon is dead.
Just like that, one of the most handsome, gentle, loving, caring and YOUNG Australian Fijian men that I know is gone. I was in shock.
How?
Heart failure I think.
I spent the weekend thinking about this man who had been so encouraging to Chita and me during our early courtship - Amanda, you just need to keep talking, and then you both will work it out- to telling Chita, when we opened the cafe - I am so proud of you Chita. Keep going!
I keep thinking about the first time I met him. He was walking along the beach with a fish, and a big smile.
Hey you must be Simon!
Yes and you are Amanda Chita's girlfriend.
Yes the bush telegraph is fast here. You always meet someone and figure out how they are related to you.
Chita and I have stayed a few times at Vilisite's, Simon's older sister's bungalows over the years. Simon would always be there, sitting outside with his guitar, and a big slow smile.
I remember being invited to a reunion he organised between two sides of his family. It was a great day. I hopped on a bus to Natandola beach and we stepped off into the village, and were swept into houses for morning tea, a church service, a walk and paddle along the beach before a huge lovo lunch. Then singing, dancing and lots of powder if I remember rightly. I was left clean as I took heaps of pictures.
I remember accompanying Simon and his family to the Sigatoka hospital to donate a wheelchair.
I remember the last time I saw Simon, I was invited to sing with Victor and Simon at Vilisite's restaurant. We started at 1.30 and sang the day away. I loved it. I have a tendency to improvise a little and was driving Simon nuts with my deviations. Victor, kept saying - don't worry about her, keep on playing...
I will miss him. He was too young. Not even 50. He had so much to give. He had just spent the last couple of years, setting up a portable saw mill business which would benefit the villages and had only received his first pay check a couple of weeks a go.
I can't believe he is gone. Chita and I are going back to the village tomorrow. There will be a ceremony at Naibale, and his body will be laid out for one night, then Friday, they will take his body by boat up river to his village in the interior. It was raining a lot yesterday so we are hoping it will stop so that they can get him to his last resting place. His partner Lora is here, in Suva today, talking business, all his kids, and even his ex-wife is here to honour him.
Death brings all together to remember. I have to be there tomorrow, and remember a good friend.
Over this weekend, heaps of accidents have occurred. Tamo and John (who was last looking clean and a member of AA) got drunk and swung at each other. Phylis' canoe now has a big hole in it.
A group of Votuan boys hired a car and went for a joy ride. They got drunk, rolled it, and it lit up like a torch. One of the boys is now in hospital in Suva with both his legs gone. Such a waste. Such carelessness....
Yesterday Chita heard on the news that a van had crashed trying to avoid a horse near Maui Bay. On that bus was an Indian guy going to Suva, to submit a visa to visit a sick aunt in hospital, who died. What wasn't mentioned was that one of Chita's cousins Marco, was on the bus, and is lying in Lautoka hospital with both hands and both legs amputated below the knee.
The front page of the Fiji Times today is all about the needless waste of life in Fiji with deaths, paraplegia, loss of limbs and fractures. A shocking statistic delivered matter of factly in the paper was the high number of children under six years of age who are killed on the road...
I have been talking to Chita about all our friends and had to ask what had happened to Kalara. the party girl. Its finally happened. She is pregnant to a married man and is in the village. So much for travelling to Australia and getting a good job.
I am here in Fiji after a long absence of four months. In this beautiful paradise, senseless things are happening. Its a time to reflect. I will try and live each day to the full. I will try to accept uncertainty as a part of my life, I will believe that our visa will happen, Chita and I are going to get a chance to have a life together which will span Fiji and Australia, and if I have my way, a trip back to Sicily next year.
I will try to quel my constant doubts; drown out the critic in my head, with singing and enjoy the next two weeks with the man who makes me happy.
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