I am here and he is there!

I was so demoralised after my encounter with a certain resort on the Coral Coast that shall remain nameless - but the level of exploitation and being classed as dispensible labour has left a bad taste in my mouth. Foreign business with cheap labour, and enormous profits going elsewhere.mmmmmmmm
I decided to go to Suva to the International School. I loved the school, its programs and surrounds but yet again - decent salaries are only paid to heads of department, the rest of the salary exist on local salaries no doubt supported by husbands working as diplomats or as consultants. I cannot live in Fiji without enough money to support the daily expenses of Chita and me, occasional hand outs to family and the village, pay for storage back in Oz and any expenses there. Its a joke1 am a talented, highly skilled person who can turn her hand to anything pretty much - nothing involving too much exertion as I am not a fitness freak but I am stuck in no man's land.
The love of my life,is working in a small business on his own, sleeping in a hammock every night on the deck so that he can protect our worldly goods from possible thieving. I could be there building up the business with him and seeing it grow, instead I am here sitting at my computer thinking about it.
I applied for a visitor's visa to get him to Australia thinking 'Okay, lets' see! I can get my family to invite him for Christmas and get my parents to write an invitation. We only get together on the rare occasion and as my brother was bringing his new partner from Korea (no problems with a visitor's visa there - money and economic possibilities count for everything) and her son for the first time. It was a chance for my darling boy to meet them all, see a bit of Tassie, work out whether he can stand the lower temperatures and start talking to a few potential businesses about a job. No bloody brick wall instead. Yet again I am dreaming about us being together instead of actually having him beside me in the flesh.
I had worked so hard on the visa. Providing documentation to prove our relationship, our business, and letters of support from family and friends.
I had pre-empted all the reasons for refusing his visa:
a) he is self employed and on a low income. My response- sponsor his airfares, accomdation, living expenses, medical insurance. Ignored.
b) An assessment of our relationship was not done - despite personal statements from both of us with photos, letters of support, telephone bills, passport entries, letters I have written to him and a whole lot of other palava. They didn't bloody well read any of it.
c) I am not a parent, spouse, or family member. What has that got to do with it. I rang the department and asked if as his fiance I could sponsor him out. No problem. So why that response.
d) Insufficient reason to return. I had organised a permaculture course for two weeks so that he could actually pick up a skill - we have a plantation project underway with seed funding from Rotary International back in Fiji, which he will need to manage- so they obviously didn't read that either.
Was the pile of visa applications too high; they were way behind. We applied on November 20th and on December 13th, the day before his scheduled air fare, they actually looked at his visa. How do I know? I rang the Australian High Commisssion and spoke to the receptionist who responded with: ' I can see it on the case manager's desk'
We didn't receive visa refusal until Friday December 14th the day of his intended departure. I was in a staff meeting at Claremont High, and walked out to talk to Chita. I dissolved into tears and cried for two hours. I could not go back into the meeting.
I had had a momentary panic that morning as I had discovered my mobile phone was not charged and I had had to borrow the principa's recharger. It took me until around 3 p.m. to stop the waterworks and walk into her office. With red rimmed eyes, and a shakey voice I handed over the recharger and then burst into tears again.
I went home. I have never felt so frustrated in my life. I have always been able to make things work for myself. Work out a strategy and head in the direction I want to go. Instead I feel powerless. I love him. We want to be together, so the only option is a prospective spouse visa (you can only have two cracks at that in five years so you need a migration agent which costs) or a spousal visa which also costs.
I rang Chita and discovered him calm as always. Don't think about it too much. What? Westerners are not wired that way.
I rang him the next day and he was sick with a summer flu - suppressed and repressed anger and frustration.
I have spent a xmas trying to be cheerful with family, a knotted left shoulder which has caused me grief, an enormous and overwhelming tiredness. What to do? Get married and wait how long for his visa to be approved.
I had completed a form as his authorised agent and received an email from the High Commission stating that due to the privacy act they could not respond via telephone or email. What the hell is the point of being an authorised agent, when I am in Australia and the only way I can communicate is by phone, email or fax. A fax is bloody unlikely as it costs more money and NO COMMUNICATION is the order of the day.
I am so pissed off. I am struggling to work out why they did not read our application.
Freedom and democracy are tenuous labels in the modern world. We believe we have the right to choose, make changes and do but red tape can keep you hanging for months. What do I do next? Do I go to Fiji for a week, have a registry office wedding and then apply for a spouse visa. To do that I am going to have to borrow money. Great.I am over any long way of getting there so forget the prospective spouse visa; its just going to cost to twice as much as you get that and then have to apply for a spouse visa. Do we apply to some country which will accept us as a couple and give us work, so that we can be together- even if its remote,we earn a pittance at least we will be together eh?
What about our plans for a beach shack, high on the hill, with a windy road through the tropical undergrowth, a deck looking out over the ocean, a four wheel drive parked nearby, a thriving bakery and juice bar. Two smiling faces(us) with plenty of customers who become friends and keep coming back. Being able to make valuable contributions to the village through specific programs for kids. I could use my current experience to train waiters, cooks and bakers. It is a vague and puffy cloud, just lurking on the horizon. It tempts me, drives me on, but I seem to have the longest and windiest road to get to it.
I have had my family - who are masters of negativity - saying well you knew getting him out here would be difficult. How did I know that? I had a text message from friends in Melbourne who have gone through the whole process the day after I found out, saying : we tried three times. I wish I had known that before I started and I wouldn't have built my hopes up. I also heard via Fiji gossip that the commission had decided to deny all visas until after January 2008. That's democracy at work. I also heard that there is such a high volume of applications that the commission can't cope. Obviously.
I am faced with more expense. I reapply for a visitor's visa with more documents, another return flight booked and wait a month for the same result. Then try again.
Or we get married and apply for the spousal visa. Worst case scenario 18 months, best case scenario 3- 6 months. I also need around $5,000 to make that happen.
I have to go back to Fiji to get married. I have decided he and I need a holiday. I have found cheap accomodation on Mana Island for our instant honeymoon. I am the financier so yet again my store of savings will dwindle and I will be back on the massive saving plan to get him out here. Merda as we say in Italian. Sono stufa...
I have work for this year full time on a year contract as a Pathway Planner - how ironic. Broadening student's horizons and guiding them towards work opportunities. And an interview for a job at a higher level in vocational education and training back in Lonny. I will be fostering positive relationships between schools and businesses,creating wonderful opportunities for students to become life long learners.
I also know that RESILIENCE is a part of current school's mantra. I am know learnign what that means. Sorry its been so long, but its taking so long. My life is surrounded, embedded and immersed in tons of paper.....
Any ideas, thoughts, or positive affirmations, gratefully accepted.